Hello all. This was emailed to me. Thought some of you may get a kick out of it. mcedgy
OBITUARY: Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years.
No one is sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn’t always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you make) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. What worsened his condition were such things as reports of a six-year old boy charged with sexual assault for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and reports of a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.
It declined further when schools were required to get parental permission to administer aspirin but required no permission to administer condoms to a student and could not inform the parents if a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victim. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled it in her lap (while driving) and not only sued but was awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility and his son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers, My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Very few attended his funeral because very few heard of his demise! He will be sorely missed.
OBITUARY: Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years.
No one is sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn’t always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you make) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. What worsened his condition were such things as reports of a six-year old boy charged with sexual assault for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and reports of a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.
It declined further when schools were required to get parental permission to administer aspirin but required no permission to administer condoms to a student and could not inform the parents if a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victim. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled it in her lap (while driving) and not only sued but was awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility and his son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers, My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Very few attended his funeral because very few heard of his demise! He will be sorely missed.
