This & That

pseudonymous

Obtuse Kineticist
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This & That

I am "this", and all else is "that". I can dip into "that" freely
and have some fun (a favorite pastime of mine), or do healing work,
or translate personal evolution (guide) for another person, as long
as I am "this". Whatever the moment calls for. Being in "that" is
scripted, which is fine, as I often have to interact on reactive
levels. The key is I try to never confuse "this" for "that". And I
try not to confuse another person for "that" either, which is
difficult sometimes because they may be manifesting a whole lot
of "that".

This level of Self awareness is important to me because of creating.
I still sometimes create unconsciously, because I forget my Self,
and think I am "that". I have been exploring the implications of
creating as "this". So far I have seen some remarkable affects of
consciously thinking outwardly from "this" state - especially in my
healing work, which has become far more affective these days.

For me, studying dusty disciplines simply does not compare with
working from "this" moment, with "this" awareness, contemplating
directly as "this". The personal proof lies in the experiences of me
being both "that" and "this", and being able to see the difference.
I used to be in compare mode, always hearing from the filters I had
arrived with. I was not able to allow for the truth of being "this"
in the moment, because I was wading through the words and
definitions and meanings of "that" which I was defending and
clinging to.

The past is locked into creation, but my relationship to it is
mutable in the present moment. The past is always there.
Being "this" doesn't change "that", but it does change the way that
I look at "that". I am constantly creating every moment of every
day. The problem lies in whether my creation is done as "that"
or "this". How I know if I am unconsciously creating is whether or
not I am reacting. Most often, "that" is realized only in hindsight.

I accept that I have carried a script for years, and that there will
likely be manifestations from "that" script resurfacing at times. I
have nearly stopped reading "that" script by finding the moment and
being present. Just like there are objects in my peripheral vision
that I don't identify with, the patterns become something that no
longer hold my attention.

Whenever I give a past pattern any energy whatsoever, I end up
reinforcing it. I cannot uncreate something that was created - and I
am constantly creating. I am a creator in the flesh. When I
forget "this", and pick up "that" script, I create unconsciously
because I become locked in past patterns and future expectations.
When I become present, I create consciously.

©2004 DC Vision
 
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