Keep smiling

[CobblersApprentice]

Yet another sad case recently known to me. Suicide that is.

A father of four young boys, known very well by my daughter. On the face of it reasonably content and happy. I had seen him perhaps a couple of times when picking up one of his children from school. Seemed happy enough. But obviously putting on a brave face.

The most shocking case for me was my GP. For twenty years he had dealt with my "case" while I saw him as the contented family man. Always greeted me with a smile. Family photos on his desk. Then one day, visiting the Surgery for an appointment, a note was on the wall. He had taken his life. Yes, shocking. I wonder what it was I missed.

All we can do is try to "tell it like it is." Things are often not "OK." Maybe there are times for "putting on a brave face" - but not always.

Ideally we are all here to help each other.

 

[StevePame]

Sorry for your loss. And a well written post.

[QUOTE="CobblersApprentice, post: 329404, member: 20438"

Ideally we are all here to help each other.[/QUOTE]

Amen

 

[wil]

Sounds like The both hid whatever it was well...you probably missed nothing..

 

[CobblersApprentice]

Sounds like The both hid whatever it was well...you probably missed nothing..

Well of course I did! My point, perhaps I was unclear, is that we should seek to be more open about such things as anxiety, depression, and not bury it behind a smile. Mental Health is now figuring quite largely on Facebook, which is a plus point.

EDIT:- just to add, during my own two years or so of severe depression, one specialist who saw me once said something like, "Its more difficult for people like you" and I asked him what he meant, and he said, "you are always smiling." I never really knew it until then.

Myself, I will always be grateful for "Mind" and its staff, and my dear wife who never once told me to "cheer up and pull yourself together". There were others also.

 

[A Cup Of Tea]

Coming from my own experiences, I lack your optimism that something can be done when we abandon our smiles. But then I'm very cynical by nature. The sheer bewilderment of the people around us who, even though they will always want our best, can't comprehend or deal with something so beyond their own understanding.

It is a lot to ask of someone to put away the only thing that is getting them through the day.

 

[CobblersApprentice]

Hi, not really optimism. I just think that the more the subject of mental health "comes out" the more encouragement there is to be honest. I think a lot of people assume it is "only them" and are even embarrassed to admit to any vulnerability.

Do smiles get us through the day? Whatever, the more the subject comes out into the open the more it will be understood.

 

[A Cup Of Tea]

I agree that the issues should be discussed, but those without their own experiences can only sympathizes, never empathizes. Not from what I have seen. They can learn not to talk about things in a certain way, but they will just have to accept these facts. A lot of people aren't so good with accepting things they don't understand.

 

[CobblersApprentice]

Hi again, you have a point. Before my own two years or so dose of depression, if anyone mentioned the word I would think along the lines of "oh yeah, we all get a bit down when we come back from a good holiday." That is how I understood it.

Nevertheless, the more spoken about, the more acknowledged, must result in some progress.

 

[A Cup Of Tea]

Before my own two years or so dose of depression

Ha! Amateur!

 

[CobblersApprentice]

Ha! Amateur!

I would assume from this that your own "dose" has been greater, and I sympathise. During my time of woe (and I still get "panic attacks" and short periods of extreme anxiety) I attended a few group therapy sessions, meeting all sorts. Some had never known any other state of being but depression. Myself, I had always been a relatively happy guy and therefore knew that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. These others knew no such thing. Really, I have no answer. Except to keep the subject in the headlines - so to speak - so that no one need hide their reality simply because they think everyone else is coping just fine.

 

[wil]

I think we are just humans traveling this plane of existence. We shouldn't blame ourselves for not seeing what we aren't trained to see. We are not therapists, don't have all the answers.

I think there is science indicating a forced Smile changes your attitude...

 

[Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine]

Sounds like The both hid whatever it was well...you probably missed nothing..

Just like with Robin Williams (I still enjoy his rendition of Genie in Aladdin, both the first Disney animation of the trilogy and the third.) And who can forget his performances in Mrs. Doubtfire, Dead Poets Society or Good Will Hunting? Then there were Good Morning, Vietnam and Mork and Mindy… I could go on, but I won't.

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

 

[wil]

When dementia becomes onset, it is an end of life disease. I don't believe all Robin Williams smiles were false...

 

[Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine]

When dementia becomes onset, it is an end of life disease. I don't believe all Robin Williams smiles were false...

He had clinical depression before he was diagnosed with dementia (he "self-medicated" with alcohol and cocaine for years, going into rehab several times iirc.)

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine