When I think of Jesus, I tend not to think of the 'Gentle Jesus meek and mild' character. He's a bit of a nightmare, in my book. I think the close disciples had a tough time of it. Their devotion was there, but so was the doubt ...
In my reading, there's a subtext moment in John:
"When Jesus had said these things, he was troubled in spirit; and he testified, and said: Amen, amen I say to you, one of you shall betray me. The disciples therefore looked one upon another, doubting of whom he spoke. Now there was leaning on Jesus' bosom one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved. Simon Peter therefore beckoned to him, and said to him: Who is it of whom he speaketh? He therefore, leaning on the breast of Jesus, saith to him: Lord, who is it?" (John 13:21-25)
So Jesus makes another of his enigmatic statements, and they're all dumbfounded. So Peter (in my mind, Peter was never happier than when doing simply things, like sailing his boat in dirty weather, or bouncing rocks off roman skulls – Peter has no patience with weakness) ... Peter says, aside, to John, "What's he talking about?"
"I dunno." John's just as nonplussed. "Ask him."
"You ask him."
"Why me?"
"Just ask him, dammit!"
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There's a very common image in the Catholic Tradition:
Forgive me, but I really, really dislike it.