You Girl
When the angel comes for youyou're on your own
always on your own
in some enclosed space
a bedroom garden
corner of a public library.
Reading charging your phone
brushing your hair in the mirror.
Stillness then a trembling of the light.
You could have said No.
Is this what you wanted for your life
relationship soaking in like oil in wood
all that dark involvement
without knowing why?
You were alone you thought.
A bud on a winter stalk.
Innocence. And behind
in green distance some vision
or is it memory of another angel
chasing you out of a garden with a sword.
But you don’t say no
and there’s a flash
of luminescence a dove
streaming in through the window
a flood of real fear
and your heart
in the cowl-neck T-shirt from Primark
suddenly convulsed. But your old life
now seems dry as a stubbed
cigarette. You are a chalice
plugged with god
vibrating to the bells only you can hear.
Ruth Padel, from "Girl", available at all good bookshops now.