I can relate to that, Poolking. I became a Bible-toting fundamentalist Christian when I was 20, and remained so for the next ten years. After that time—and a move away from the church my wife and I thought of as home—Nina and I both gradually fell away into, first, a comfortably nostalgic inactive Christianity, then a relatively uncaring agnosticism, thence to atheism, and then, startlingly and unexpectedly, to where we are now—witches!
A lot of my initial slide arose from a combination of not being able to find a comfortable church “home” plus other things—a horrendously busy schedule, mostly—taking precedence. Those Sunday mornings were way too precious as time for writing to spend them in an uncomfortable pew listening to uncomfortable sermons! Also—our daughter, then about 9, announced that she couldn’t agree with what we believed, and had, for some time, considered herself to be an atheist. We praised her for her courage and honesty, then went on to seriously examine what WE believed, what we were still clinging to in the way of church belief. That re-examination was what led us to agnosticism.
There was also a period in there, somewhere, where my examination of my beliefs led me to SERIOUSLY re-evaluate certain things I believed about the authority of the Bible.know the verses. You know the verses--the ones in the O.T. that make God look like a sadistic mass-murdering monster who goes along with rape and bashing out the brains of babies but who kills His believers if they get the ritual wrong. That, coupled with some attitude issues I’d developed about God in general and the way He chose to run the planet and my life, led me to atheism. As I told several friends at that point in my life—if I believed in God, I’d have to hate Him. Not believing in Him at all was healthier.
Our daughter now, by the way, is a witch and a devotee of ceremonial magick, so, in a sense, she led the way for us again, getting us to examine what we really believed. We met some witches, discovered a whole new way to look at religion and at personal responsibility, and took off in an entirely new direction.
And I must say, it’s wonderful to be able to believe in something once again, even if some of our old friends believe now that we are headed straight for Hell!.