Where best does this post fit?
I do not know.
This phrase oft used by newscasters and politicians particularly after school shootings. After any disaster, but for me particularly irritating after mass shootings and achool shootings in the US…because our pundits and pols could easily follow the positive results seen around the civilized world by changing our gun laws.
But this is not a political post. It is about thinking prayer will solve a problem we can solve ourselves.
No it’s not. It is about MY thoughts whenever I hear “our thoughts and prayers go out to the parents, family and classmates of the children”
Aaaarrgghhhh that irritates this old hunter and gun owner….change the freaking LAW!
But this post is really about us non believers, atheists and agnostics….and prayer. Equally offensive to us is…. “I’ll pray for you.”
Now hear me out, I am, we are fully aware your intent is to at a minimum soothe and comfort by asking G!d to benefit us in some way, to heal, to reduce pain or strife, or to make the end come quickly or the operation go well. Whatever it my be your inclination to pray for me is well meaning, from a place of compassion, utilizing a tool that you and yours know and have faith in.
But for me, it is not. And in the past few weeks I have inquired of dozens of atheists, agnostics and non abrahamics about this phrase. And their gut reaction.
“I WILL PRAY FOR YOU”
I hope this in an educational moment. I say specifically ‘gut’ reaction because that is the most common response I got from when I asked. “If you are sick, in pain, or emotionally down, how do you feel when someone says, ‘I will pray for you’?”
Again, I asked non believers…like me. And all responses were in a similar vein.
Makes me:
Irritated
Sick to my stomach
Want to vomit
Mad
Confused
Wish they would shut up
Wish they would go away
Not now
This again?
The thing is we know that is not your goal, we know you wish to benefit us with the thought.
But the non believer has a hard time believing YOU believe in G!d. The non believer has a hard time believing you believe the all-powerful omniscient thing you believe in that they don’t could make any beneficial.changes at all and now you have just made my brain hurt inthis contemplation and pissed me off! Aasrgghh.
Again, this is me, and the results of my nonscientific survey of some of the non-believers I know…and oh the rants I had to listen to and the utter anger I incited by asking the question…it triggered many negative memories….and the exercise on my part triggered memories that were not beneficial today…years and decades after the “I’ll pray for you” incident!
Let us make this an educational moment.
If your goal is to actually benefit the body, mind and soul of your friend instead of IPFY….
Do you mind if I pray for you?
Would you like me to pray for you?
Much better but both these while.not increasing stomach acid will start my mental gymnastics.
Is there anything I can get for you?
Is there anything I can say that will help right now?
Will a hug help?
Can I get you water or anything?
We who don’t believe in your unseen G!d do believe in this physical world.
These are my thoughts originally started in another conversation here, which started me on my poll of others. And this post is to followup so we may discuss your thoughts on the topic and increase understanding for all.
wil 10/07/2023
Visit thread: https://www.interfaith.org/community/threads/20724/#post-378378