Muslimwoman
Coexistence insha'Allah
as salam aleykum wr wb sister
Here is my personal opinion on your questions and situation.
No I do not support this but I do support that they should not travel to strange places without a male escort.
This is for our protection and the peace of mind of our men, if anything were to happen to us in a strange place how could our men protect us if they don't know where we are? I go out when I want to the local shops, my friends, etc but if I want to go somewhere new I would ask my husband to accompany me.
I believe it is a Divine Instruction to dress modestly including covering our hair in public with only our face and hands showing.
How would we know how many times to pray? But I confess this is such a contentious topic with me and one that causes many arguments in our house.
I know how difficult it is to get your head around .. if you are not ready for the hadith trail (I've been on it for months and still struggling) then concentrate on the Quran for now and only refer to hadith if it is something vital to our tenants, like how many times to pray or how to perform hajj.
The biggest problem is we read them in English without explanations. I read one a few months ago that in English could be taken no other way than an affront to women (it was about women, houses and horses being bad omens). I had a mini fit with my husband about it, ranting about how these misogynistic males have brought this in to a faith that provides such respect for women blah blah blah.
Off he trotted and looked up the meaning in arabic .. as to be honest he was a little shocked too and had never read that particular hadith.
It turns out, after all my tantrums, that the hadith is talking about the things that can make your life miserable if you pick a bad one .. so choose wisely. Even I have to agree with that, as women we are more than capable of making a mans life truely miserable.
The agreement I now have with my husband is when I read a hadith I am not sure about I simply put it to one side until we can find a scholars opinion we trust. If I still cannot accept it we reject it until we read more about the topic to see if it begins to fall into place. If it is one that has no bearing on my life (like whether the Prophet urinated standing up or sitting down) and I cannot accept it then we simply ignore it as it can bring no harm to my faith and maybe in time it will make sense to me.
May I suggest if you are not comfortable wearing hijab in public yet that you look at wearing a hat to start off with. Many young girls here now wear hats and polo neck tops, they are modestly dressed their hair is covered and they could easily fit in to Western life without looking or feeling out of place.
Totally agree with BB, tell him to go and boil his head. This has happened to me in the street, a man stopped his car to rant about my clothes not being loose enough (I was wearing a bloody tent at the time) ... I suggested he go take a cold shower and read the Quran for an hour.
Where in Islam does it say we have any right to do this? Nowhere.
We are told to teach our faith with kind words and patience .. I doubt that means only to non-Muslims.
I started by wearing a very loose pice of material draped on my head, in time I tightened it up and in time I started wearing it with confidence. After some time I added niqab .. that was scary but I love it now. Just work at your own pace and sod idiots that think they are the religious police.
Amica, dear sister, a better Islamic lifestyle is not about how we dress, it is about our belief and intention. I know Muslims with long beards and full Islamic dress (the men not the women LOL) and women that wear full niqab but some of them only go to mosque or pray when someone is there to see them .. it's just an outward show but meaningless in terms of faith.
Do you think on the Last Day Allah would say to you "you truly believed, you prayed regularly, your intentions were good but it's hell for you because you didn't wear hijab soon enough"?
Remember the story of the prostitute that was forgiven all her sins because she gave water to a dying dog. Allah (swt) knows what is in our hearts, He knows our fears and He knows them better than we do.
You aren't one of these converts that becomes a Muslim and suddenly changes your life totally, like me you are on a path, we know it is the the right path but we are taking tentative steps ... isn't that better than being on the wrong path??!! It is a slow process for some of us .. just take a step at a time, as you feel comfortable and remember on the Last Day you will answer to Allah (swt) and not the twit of a brother with nothing better to do with his time.
I shall pray for you ... big hugs sister.