What is True Love ?

S

soleil10

Guest
True Love appears in my life when there is unity between my mind and my body, unity between me and my wife and unity between us and our children. This is the standard of love, I always want to have.

What is your definition of True Love ?
 
True love is not getting emotionally attached to someone. It is this: At times, the other person's happiness is more important than our own happiness. At times, we will be so busy thinking about how to make them happy that we completely forget our own needs during that time.
 
Nick the Pilot said:
True love is not getting emotionally attached to someone. It is this: At times, the other person's happiness is more important than our own happiness. At times, we will be so busy thinking about how to make them happy that we completely forget our own needs during that time.
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Your answer is quite surprising. Dont you think that if we all live for the sake of others, we all would benefit from it. There would be an overflow of love and happiness. Jesus said that there is no greater love than to give our life for someone else.
True love is unconditional. It gives and forget
 
soleil10,

I am studying to be a marriage counselor, so that may explain why I give the answers I give.

You said,

"True love is unconditional. It gives and forget."

--> Time and time again I have seen marriages where a person gives and gives, but they just can't give any more, because they are receiving nothing in return. Would you recommend such a person continue in such a marriage?

I think what you are referring to is compassion. Compassion means giving without expecting, wanting, or getting anything in return. It means giving even when the gift is unappreciated. (I would strongly recommend people do not get into a compassion-only marriage. That is called being codependent, and it is a big mistake.)

The way I see it, compassion and love are quite different. Would you agree?
 
soleil10 said:
True Love appears in my life when there is unity between my mind and my body, unity between me and my wife and unity between us and our children. This is the standard of love, I always want to have.

What is your definition of True Love ?
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True Love to me is something which is different from the emotions which Love will generate (or maybe it is the ego which generates those feelings (which tend to be a production of some hormone or drug compound that the body is capable of generating, like endorphins).
Love is connection.
But it is like spirituality, in that it is a realization and a knowing as opposed to being a feeling.
One must mature and cultivate their sense of discernment in order to see the difference.
 
Try to pick the most rotten, despicable, deceitful, unfaithful, unloving, self serving, vengeful, hateful brat that you know... and do good deeds, trust, empower, forgive, have patience, but rebuke that bad behavior a new one. Pray for help, deal with the consequences, and look for ways to do it better.
 
Nick the Pilot said:
soleil10,I am studying to be a marriage counselor, so that may explain why I give the answers I give. You said,
"True love is unconditional. It gives and forget."
--> Time and time again I have seen marriages where a person gives and gives, but they just can't give any more, because they are receiving nothing in return. Would you recommend such a person continue in such a marriage?
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The way somebody responds does not change what true love is. It is not conditionned on the reponse. Can you imagine if God would create conditions for His love based on our response. He would have divorced us and quit a long time ago.
Jesus said "Forgive them , they do not know what they are doing. He was speaking of us.
There is evil in the best of us and good in the worst of us.
Concerning your question about a married couple, it is impossible to give a general answer without knowing all the details a a specific situation.

Nick the Pilot said:
I think what you are referring to is compassion. Compassion means giving without expecting, wanting, or getting anything in return. It means giving even when the gift is unappreciated. (I would strongly recommend people do not get into a compassion-only marriage. That is called being codependent, and it is a big mistake.)The way I see it, compassion and love are quite different. Would you agree?
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Compassion is part of love. Some compassion may be misguided too.
Are you counseling as a couple or all by yourself ?
 
True Love is.......... the look in his/her eyes when he looks at you.
(and I think that if you have to ask, you dont know what it is.............yet)

Just my two bobs worth,
Love the Grey
 
Anyone who gives anything with the expectation of receiving something in return isn't giving, they are negotiating.

No one is born to live upto our expectations.

True love is unconditoinal, without conditions. Not if you get an A on your report card, not if you take out the garbage, not if you pick up your socks, not if yoiu cook a good meal, not if you don't spend the money on alcohol.

True love is caring for your fellow (wo)man without conditions.
 
Wil,

But if my spouse keeps acting way too childish, then resentment will build up inside of me, to the point of desperation and rejection. I also have emotional needs, and I cannot go on in a marriage forever if my emotional needs are not being net. I cannot put up forever with a spouse who is smothering me with her being clingy, jealous, and needy.

Is true love stilll possible in such a marriage?
 
Nick the Pilot said:
Wil,

But if my spouse keeps acting way too childish, then resentment will build up inside of me, to the point of desperation and rejection. I also have emotional needs, and I cannot go on in a marriage forever if my emotional needs are not being net. I cannot put up forever with a spouse who is smothering me with her being clingy, jealous, and needy.

Is true love stilll possible in such a marriage?
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I'm not saying there isn't open discussion. Just that unconditional love is just that, unconditional.
 
"Latest fad? We had the free love 60's, the disco 70's, up until AIDS hit the marketplace sex was fast and furious long before 'friends with priviliges'"

Yes, you are right. Same fad, new title.
 
I get to be the cynic here...

True love between humans is a fairy tale. Love comes with conditions. It changes by the moment.

True love of God is another story. That love is always present, whether I am receptive to it or not. The compassion that rains down upon us is the truest, most constant love we will ever know.
 
True love means that, when I think about making my partner happy, I completely forget about my own need for happiness during that time.
 
Nick the Pilot said:
True love means that, when I think about making my partner happy, I completely forget about my own need for happiness during that time.
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Yeah... but it's only during a period of time. Then she tells you to take out the trash... or put on a better shirt... or that her sister is coming to visit for two weeks... and the true love ain't that true anymore.

I'm not saying it disappears completely. But it changes. It waxes and wanes. Love isn't true. Your commitment might be true, but I think if your honest with yourself, you'll have to admit that your love isn't.

I've been happily committed and in love to the same woman for 17 years... and I'm not afraid to admit it.
 
CZ,

That is why I make a distinction between compassion. Love is a dynamic principle -- it shifts, changes, etc. Compassion, on the other hand, does not. I am just as willing to be compassionate for someone whether they appreciate it or not, whether they hate me for what I have done for them, etc. The self is part of dynamic love. Compassion, by definition, contains no self.

And, I am not ashamed to say I envy your successful long-term romance.
 
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