Hi, Jenn- what a beautiful, well-written discussion. It pretty much summed up my own thoughts from that part of the conference and the difficulty I have with defining Paganism in the first place- particularly the concerns I have for what that could cause.
Six years now (not that long really) I've been intensely involved in different facets of paganism, but have never really gotten into it as a "religion". I was drawn to it specifically for its vagueness, its LACK of orthodoxy and orthopraxy.
I was also- and like you, I've been involved in Paganism since about 2003/2004. Over time, I found that it varies a lot- there are Pagan groups that are rather rigid in orthodoxy and orthopraxy, and others who aren't. Some are constructed to be spontaneous (comes in handy to deal with change!).
As I've been working on an academic text of the anthropology of religion, I realized that while I tend to think of myself as "spiritual but not religious," this is not really the case in terms of an academic definition of religion. Generally speak, while I could really care less about my own "identity" and am content as "eclectic," as an anthropologist concerned with cognition, community, and identity-- it is fascinating to me. So I often ponder how my own mind is constructing identity (myself and others) and categories of beings.
So changing my "religion" had no impact on who I was.
I totally get this. It has been my own experience. I think this gets into how different people experience religion and identity construction. For example, I am not a joiner as a rule. I am introverted and happy to largely be solitary. My reason for joining a larger religious/spiritual community was primarily to learn and to offer what help I could, not to have an identity. But I have rapidly found that being part of a community while resisting identity is quite difficult.
This is because identity is only partially self-constructed. Whatever I think of myself, my identity is a social negotiation. Others define me and I can contest, manipulate, ignore, and so on... but it is a process of interaction, not self-actualization.
As you point out, self-actualization is a process devoid of identity. But then one leaves one's home and goes out into the world, and the process of identity construction begins- whether we accept what others thrust upon us or resist or guide it in some way.
Paganism, more than any other modern religion, seems fascinated with trying to define itself.
I was struck by the same thing at the conference. I wonder if it is because many Pagans I know are scholars and philosophers at heart.
In essence I disagree with the idea of paganism as a "religion" and/or the desire to make paganism into a religion. I don't want paganism to have dogma. I think the vagueness of its umbrella is good ....
I think it would be impossible for Paganism to be a single religion- it is an umbrella term- sort of like "Abrahamic" or "Eastern" religions. At least, that's what I'm thinking makes the most logical sense.
Identities are useful. They act as labels (another thing I disagree with) and in turn lead to stereotypes (even worse) which is how civilization manages to keep chaos at bay, by putting everything into neat little boxes so we don't feel uncomfortable with ourselves.
I think people who are seeking a religious identity (or any other identity) are doing so to try and control their own inner chaos. Usually (not making a universal statement because there are always exceptions!) trying to find an identity is something people use to hide in and make them feel safe.
I concur. What I realized in myself, however, is that while I don't really care about having an identity for myself, my general apathy toward it had allowed me to avoid being counted as a member of a relatively small religious community and avoid censure by other people. In being nothing, I was safe from social consequences of being actively identified as something that some people disrespect and sometimes actively try to harm.
Seeking religious identity for oneself, I would think, is largely an attempt to find some stability, as you point out. (Though seeking a religious community can be for quite different reasons and is almost inevitably entwined with identity being assumed or thrust upon oneself.)
But what I realized is that it can also be an act of resistance, fear, etc. to avoid religious identity.
A lot of pagans who seem transfixed with creating a pagan identity are ex-Christians. They come from a religion that has deeply ingrained in them the importance of orthodoxy and even orthopraxy. It is very hard, as hard as trying to break a drug habit, to let go of that ingrained need for definitions and boundaries. This is a comment, not a judgment.
I agree. There was a fair bit of discussion about this at the conference and, more broadly, it is a phenomenon I have witnessed in Pagan groups. For some, Paganism is defined by what it is not (i.e., I am not a Christian) while still maintaining the underlying features of an Abrahamic religious worldview (duality, purity and sin, guilt, orthodoxy, etc.).
It reminds me of a conversation I had with another academic who is co-authoring the book with me on anthro of religion- he pointed out that his atheist friend who is Jewish still holds a Judaism-influenced worldview, and the atheist friend who was raised Presbyterian still holds a Presbyterian worldview.
Even when one never "fits in," it can be difficult mental and emotional work to sift out what one carries from one's childhood conditioning from what one is now claiming to do/believe.
So it is a difficult path to trod, living with all the ambiguity. It's my conclusion then that although having a religious affliation or religious identity can be useful getting along in the world ... ultimately it makes no difference to who you are.
My own path is centered on non-dualism and embracing the mystery of paradox- I find the ambiguity helps me spiritually.
But academically, it is a nightmare. And saying "but really, it's ambiguous!" won't buy you anything in such circles.
What really struck me at the conference, however, was that some people had been persecuted and even threatened with violence for their religion. Religious identity, for me, had always been largely unnecessary because I live in a liberal area and few people care. However, when you note that people are being attacked, sometimes physically, for their beliefs- that was a wake-up call for me that these people need religious community and identity for safety and justice of a very real and social sort. At that point, it's not about who someone is, but about how others construct your identity and respond to it. Religious education for tolerance necessitates defining something to educate someone about and promoting tolerance of a certain suite of behaviors, ideas, and labels.
As ancient poet Han Shan said, "No path goes all the way." .... eventually, all paths run out and you have to start making your own.
I love that. I may have to use that somewhere.
I like to think of "soul" as our wild nature. The wild isn't concerned with identity, nor does it need someone to tell it how to be wild. The wild simply is. A seed becomes a tree, because that is its nature. So too, we are who we are ... and we manifest the potential that is in us ... because that is our nature to do so.
When we get hung up on labels, or trying to identify things, or in ideas of who we think we are ... we are effectively putting our wild self into a cage. We are unconsciously attempting to limit our own potential. We're afraid of becoming the tree because we can't imagine being anything other than a seed. That's why I talk about facing the "raw reality" ... engaging and befriending the process of transformation that happens over and over again.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
And btw, my closest friend Jason Kirkey was supposed to be at that pagan conference giving a talk on Celtic Spirituality but was taken violently ill with the flu. It's a shame. You might have even heard his talk! His book "The Salmon in the Spring" is very much about our wild natures, identity, etc.
Dinnseanchas: Education for Ecos and Psyche
I'm sad I missed that and hope he is feeling better- I would have loved to hear that talk and will look at the website tomorrow. One of my own primary traditions I draw from is Druidry, so a topic near and dear to my heart.
There were quite a few people taken ill from the conference and unable to make it, or left part way through. At the end of the conference, the group raised and sent healing energy their way.
