MW,
Yes, please share some of your ideas on how NOT to date via a dating site.
A positive note first ..
Choose which site you join carefully. People tend to just google the one they saw on the telly or the first ones that come up in google. Spend time and research sites to narrow down ones with members you may have something in common with.
Then, once you choose a site, email the admin staff ... doesn't matter what about, the idea is to find out if they respond to your query or if they either fail to reply or simply send an automated reponse. If they don't care about you at this stage you can be sure they won't care after they have your money!!
How
NOT to date online (once you have found the right site for you)
1. Write any rubbish on your profile, like "tell you later" or "ask me". Alternatively you can write your life story including how depressed you are being single and what life's like with no social life.
2. Have a profile heading like "Naughty_Nigel seeks playmate" or "Can't think what to write here".
3. Tell lots of fibs, like drop 10 kg, add 4" to your height and drop a decade off your age ... well, once they get to know you they will love you anyway ... honest
4. Say things like "I've got a great sense of humour" and then bore them to sleep with what you think are funny one liners (unless of course you are known to be particularly funny).
5. Add a profile picture of your cat/dog/parrot/car or of you a decade ago. Alternatively add a current photo of you half or fully naked ... that'll get the love of your life flocking to your door and not just looking for sex.
6. Don't contact anyone, wait for them to contact you. After a couple of days of not receiving any messages cancel your membership and say online dating doesn't work. ... Never use the forum or chat rooms to become part of the community as this may actually build interest in you.
7. If you see someone has looked at your profile but not sent you a message then don't go and look at their profile or send them a flirt/wink/etc ... with any luck you can spend a full 6 months looking at each others profiles without exchanging a single message.
8. Alternatively just send out messages to anyone who's picture you like the look of without reading the profile ... it really impresses people when they get emails from 60 a day smokers even though their profile says they can't stand smoking.
9. If someone starts sending messages make sure you give them way to much information about yourself. Discuss your every fear and anxiety, all your faults and of course let them know all about your past relationships.
10. If you decide to spend time sending out messages make sure they are to people on the other side of the world, so there is little to no hope of ever actually meeting in real life.
11. Be completely unrealistic about the type of person that may find you attractive, just think of your fantasy person and set your sights on people who resemble your fantasy man/woman ... it's a dead cert that the gorgeous millionaire is going to fall head over heals for Kathy the rather plain bus conductor or the 22 year old glamour model is going to fancy the pants off Pete the 45 year old assistant accounts clerk who picks his nose while scratching his beer belly.
Follow these tips and I can guarantee you will not be successful with online dating.
