I'm at a crossroad. I grew up in a Baptist church and became a believer in Christ having been saved at the age of 13. Of course in my formative teen years I seriously drifted away and got to the point of being nominally agnostic in my early teens. At the age of 22, I have a change of heart and a revival in my life as I reached from a depressed state toward God. I cannot deny that felt a relief over my depressed state and a feeling of forgiveness in me. I credit God for helping me. (I had even found the strength to quit smoking, which I credit God). I found refuge in an Apostolic church. They believe that to be saved one must be baptised in Jesus' name (as opposed being baptised in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), and have the Baptism of the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues. Anyone that did not have these prerequisites was lost. So know I'm thinking that I have to get my family saved again 'cause they are Baptist. It certainly radically narrowed the way to Heaven. But I soon found that the Apostolic church was too shepherdish. They expected me to attend every meeting and if I missed a meeting, they made it out like I committed the sin of adultery. Needless to say, I left this church for a Charismatic Baptist church, if that makes any sense.
When I got married, we joined a regular Baptist church (mostly Filipinos like my wife) in San Diego we felt comfortable with and had a sense of satisfaction serving God through fellowship, prayer, studying the Bible, and spreading the Gospel. Yes, sir, I was one of those who knocked at your door Saturday morning asking if you are sure you are going to heaven and presenting Jesus as the only way. When I left the Navy in 2003, we moved to Southern Maryland and joined a Baptist church there. But we deeply missed our fellow churchmembers in San Diego and never really connected with our current church members for some reason. Probably because their weren't really any Filipinos attending there (Filipinos tend to be Catholic). So we stopped going not soon after joining.
So now not having gone to church for awhile, I have done some soul searching. I started thinking about lost souls.
There are 6 billion+ people in this world. Current estimates put about 2.1 billion in Christianity. But this includes people who profess in name only, and not in practice. It also includes cults and abherrent Christian groups that fall outside mainline Christianity. And people in mainline Christianity who attend church, but never got saved. So it would'nt be a stretch of the imagine if, for the sake of arguement, in my Baptist thinking, that out of 2.1 billion, maybe only 1 billion are true Christians. That leaves some 5 billion people who are lost and going to hell. 5 billion!! That's a lot of souls, lots of souls. That is unfathomable to me. If God is supposed to be victorious and means to have His Name glorified among the nations of the world, He sure doesn't seem to have a good track record.
Currently, I've begun a re-evaulation of my beliefs. I see too many people in other faiths and beliefs that seem to have a bonifide, faith in God. If I am going to keep a Christian perspective, I'd either have to believe that somehow Jesus saves those who have a faith in God albeit a different religion, or abandon the Christian religion in favor of a more tolerant belief. This is a major step for me. What I'm doing now is researching Judiasm since Christianity came out of it. I want to find out why the Jews don't believe Jesus is not the Messiah and finding some really interesting facts. I'm also I'm testing the New Testament with the Old Testament and finding some eye-opening discepancies between the two. In essence, I'm thinking like a Jew. I'd never in a million year imagine I would be exploring Judiasm as a source of faith. Who knew? And no, my wife and kids don't know.
So I'm kinda inbetween religions, hence my avatar of the Star of David with a cross in it.
