Ask me anything... from DustyFeet the unbound amateur mystic

Fav mystical quote: "... when we are, death is not come, and, when death is come, we are not..." - Epicurus, Letter to Menoeceus.

Fav scripture: none, but I have not read them all yet.
 
Hi. So what do you really believe and how do you practice in a week and daily? What are all the things you typically and regularly do in a day in general and what religious things do you do or perform in detail (so anyone reading might be able to pick up the technical practices).

When did you become whatever it is you consider yourself to be religiously, and what is that exactly and what qualifies one as being that or what does it take to be that amd what disqualifies one or is such that one can say "they are not what I am because they do or say or think this this this and only people who think or say or do this are qualified as whatever I am".

Anyone else can answer too if they want as I'm generally curious, and what I'm also curious about is myself, if I am that or can be that or if I am not that and what qualifies or disqualifies one, so these questions are about shaping things, drawing lines, seeing the borders or coming to recognize my own shape in relation to other shapes.

What is God and how do you interact with God and how does God interact with you if at all? By what means or medium or through what or how does this communication or relationship appear or manifest and can others see it occurring as well and would they consider it real and legitimate or just imaginary or held within your imagination?

What is your agenda in life, on this forum, and what is the end goal or ultimate achievement in mind that you hope to work towards and win? What are some or all of your other interests or goals?

Do you lie or deceive yourself? Do you just talk or make up things or do you really believe and what do you really really believe or know or feel is certain and what do you consider doubtful or can admit deep doubts about even if you act confident in it otherwise?

Have you worked to speak confidently about or deceive people regarding things you yourself don't really know or feel or aren't really sure about but have stated with confidence to others to maybe comfort them?

What are some or all of the things you hate and despise and what are some of the other things you love and enjoy? Are there cases of a love/hate relationship with anything or anyone that is somewhat intense?

Do you feel you don't do enough, you're a fraud, or that you feel you are empty and the things you think just vacuous and arbitrary and that its just passing the time or something to do or talk about but not really meaningful or essential?

Are you ancestrally Jewish or from a Jewish family or did you get attracted to the Jewish mysticism from outside of Judaism or a Jewish upbringing and whats the whole story with that and how does it feel to be Jewish and how do other Jews treat you and what do you think and feel about them, the good and the bad?

You can ask me things too. I mean these questions to be sincere and real, not as jokes or tricks or looking for falsehood or joke type responses. Its a great and unique and somewhat rare opportunity when people can answer genuinely and sincerely from a place of real in-depth self exploration and full disclosure from as far as they can determine of what they really consider to be the deepest and rawest and least cryptic and most analytically critical examination of themself worded explicitly and clearly so that others can really get an inside look.

What do you consider me to be and why? What is the best thing to be and why?

Do you get some sense of me? What is it? Who am I? If you were to just say what comes to mind about who or what you may think I am, what would you say without concern about being right or wrong, a mystical blurting out.

What themes or signs or messages or mystical things have been popping up for you lately? Anything repeating like certain words, images, numbers, quotes, colors, specific themes or storylines or anything? Animal symbols or sightings?

What are some or all of your spiritual, miraculous, weird, spooky, supernatural, horror, or divine seeming experiences in chronological order with exact or rough dates if exact can't be provided?

As Jewish it may be difficult to play with this question but as symbols or archtypes or themes, which of the Pagan type Gods or mythical figures would you feel you link to most or which maybe are the themes of your current experience more and why? Like for example some people may really be into a water aesthetic and connect more to Yam or Poseidon or Tlaloc something. Some may relate to Fire but connect it to Hermes or Agni, others may feel a connection to smithing or craftsmanship etc. Which of those themes the pagans typically divided things into would you relate to most? It can be multiple from greatest to least, can include animal symbols and colors and numbers and all that, even Hebrew and Greek letters or Phoenician or English letters.

What would you say mine were if you were to just intuitively guess or blurt out things?

What is your occupation and what are your hobbies? How do you make money and how do you suggest others make money and live well or best?

I look forward to reading your replies, feel free to take your time with these questions to provide the most sincere and heartfelt and deepest and most fully assessed accurate and copious answers you can provide.
 
The Artis Magistra said:
I look forward to reading your replies, feel free to take your time with these questions to provide the most sincere and heartfelt and deepest and most fully assessed accurate and copious answers you can provide.
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I need to read the whole post more carefully. I don't have a lot of time this morning, but do want to thank you for your thoughtful posts.

One thing: some people seem to have the idea that being 'religious' means desperately needing to go out evangelising with the purpose of converting everyone else and bringing them to accept one's own way of thinking as the only truth. I don't think that is true of anyone who really lives with some sort of spiritual ... awareness?
 
RJM Corbet said:
I need to read the whole post more carefully. I don't have a lot of time this morning, but do want to thank you for your thoughtful posts.

One thing: some people seem to have the idea that being 'religious' means desperately needing to go out evangelising with the purpose of converting everyone else and bringing them to accept one's own way of thinking as the only truth. I don't think that is true of anyone who really lives with some sort of spiritual ... awareness?
Click to expand...

I've noticed that as well, in just about anything, even non-religious type convictions which people try to spread vehemently. I thought maybe it has to do with some weird mechanism of wanting to create more people that one can relate to, some kind of virile propagation mechanism that is running behind it. I just saw a whole documentary on Netflix about people who believe the Earth is flat and the growth of the flat earth movement and the sorts of issues which seem to occur in every movement seem to occur in that as well, but one if the big themes in the film seemed to be about finding or creating bonding groups and kinship, and that desire for friends seemed to drive a lot of the success even and probably leads to some conformity as well.

To top it off, if I really believed something, and especially if I believed someone or something I liked was in danger if I didn't tell them or save them or convert them, I'd probably be motivated pretty strongly to do something to try to preserve them, even if its just a matter of keeping a friendship or gaining a friendship. I think these motivations swim around underneath the surface unrecognized but acted upon without a real conscious awareness that such factors may be present in some cases. In other cases it may be a domination drive and territorial, both drives seem almost sexual or similar in some ways to very old instincts in people.

I think I have these feelings as well, but they may be a little skewed or suppressed, and in thinking about them, there may be things deterring me in other ways.

One issue may be that I like to be unique, so maybe I don't really want people to do the same thing as me, maybe its a mechanism to prevent creating competition or something. I've always felt a bit disturbed by communal activities or performances like music played by bands, authority structures and the obstructions they can lead to, those in unison dances that Korean Pop singers do, characters or costumes that are all the same over and over. There seem to be a whole lot of things deterring me from creating more meez.

I've tried to convince people of things though or demonstrate things to them, and noticed the more I care for someone the more extreme or fundamentalist and impatient I am about their conformity. I'm very chill about people I don't know though, and that is the peaceful smile of someone who actually must not care whether they live or die or succeed or fail as I have no investment, stake, desire, or relation tied to them, they have no value or worth to me, except in a very abstract and general way as people or animals (and probably moreso animals simply because of cuteness or fondness for animals and innocents than for people which have disturbed and dissapointed me since childhood up until today).

Frightfully, the coldness or apathy has systematically grown, after every abuse witnessed, that I've grown really jaded and almost malicious and very quick to dismiss people or stop trying or not caring, and I don't think that is probably a good trend overall, but I can admit beingg filled with misanthropic hatred for a "general face" of (internet) humanity and behavior, and there is a lot of rage or fire underneath or seething for the vile things I've seen being done and though I don't care enough to do anything ever, I don't wish well towards people who harm and do things I consider terrible or evil. It doesn't feel good though to dwell in unpleasantness like that though but the nasty things people do in open and in private are real and present and very disturbing to me and I haven't grown more patient seemingly but less, and less forgiving or tolerant as well, its been like a decay or chipping away via a bitter acid over the years. I'm not an unhappy or dramatic person but I do feel that the basic ethical things most humans know and expect in an interaction, when bypassed or neglected or disregarded and flat out abuse occurs, I am not pleased by such things or impropriety. Lying, cheating, stealing, hitting, hurting, tricking, all that trash.

The change has disrupted me quite a bit though. From feeling driven and motivated to help people, I've instead lost much of that motivation, and that had been a major factor in my life. My mother is a medical doctor, everyone in my family helps in some way, and helping meant goid deeds and good deeds meant hoping for a good result or reward even or what they call a "purpose", but now its almost like just waiting for death due to bypassing much interaction, I can't even imagine how I'd help. One of the ways I used to try to help was through religion and counseling people in some way, and I still try to naturally, and I still think it counts, but my hope that they will profit much overall is much reduced, or that they will ever be able to relate or anything is long gone.

Another feature lacking is having any use or much pleasure from interacting with people. I sometimes feel a slight tinge of dread before leaping to communicate and regret afterwards, just a little, and sort of chafe a bit through interactions, even though I appear very comfortable, vocal, friendly, and even eloquent and smooth, I just don't like it too much, and the reason I don't like it is because I seem to derive no or very little pleasure, stimulation, learning from interactions

Either I'm somehow mildly depressed, or this assessment is realistic based on an actual lack I feel in most interactions. I've never felt like I've had a friend like they show in films, or some kind of companion, except my very close family. You know, I've seen people who seem so amused by their relations, they really like each other, they want to see them, they get along. I've always gotten the impression of one sided relationships, where I am wanted but want not and I just entertain myself and whoever else and get enjoyed but don't really enjoy them. It really sucks, haha, in multiple senses. I don't hold out much hope for a change in that after so many years, but can examine the causes at least.

I'm so grateful that I do like some things, because the feeling of not liking things is very terrible or frightening for me, or to imagine what it would be like to not have or want or like or enjoy anything and to but utterly uninterested and unmotivated, sounds like a true nightmare to me.

I feel a sort of angstiness when I hear about the religions or practices of other people, and I try to put myself into simulations that live out their descriptions and find myself usually completely unsatisfied and shocked or even envious of their satisfaction with whatever things they are doing which seem like not enough to me or whatever.

So even though my behavior here on this forum may seem similar as to my behavior on other forums in the past, this experience is quite different than those because this time around I'm more jaded and unmotivated than ever before I think.
 
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To me that jadedness with people and the world is a natural condition for anyone who's reached a point of having to accept that this material world isn't where to find answers or satisfaction?
 
RJM Corbet said:
To me that jadedness with people and the world is a natural condition for anyone who's reached a point of having to accept that this material world isn't where to find answers or satisfaction?
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Yeah, it seems to be, because its hard to imagine anyone sincere who can feel pleased by troublesome and harsh things. The other issue is not having access to anything else at this time apparently nor having any sure guarantee of access to anything better later.

The place I go to escape is my mind, my happy imagination, and a simulation of a pleasant world, though its often rather empty and possibly lacking any other purpose than some habitation where I can feel good and remain in a good presence safely.

My next best place is my home, and from my head to my room to my home to what surrounds my home, and then it seems all fine even seeing a person or two. It only starts getting really bad with swarms of people gathered together or jammed in one place, then the likelihood of unpleasantness seems to rapidly rise with the increase of present entities assembled. Then I see things that I don't see when hiding under my helmet, things which bother me a lot, like people falling apart on drugs, threats both real and braced for, and bad expectations. Bad expectations like seeing really messed up seeming people with children or babies and not really expecting a necessarily good outcome from that upbringing. It may be an entirely false assessment or judgment, but its a calculation that seems apparent based on various things seen. Its hard to hear no evil, see no evil, when trying to board a bus without tripping.

I don't think trying one's darndest to remain wholly unobservant or to make an effort not to think about it or make up things about it is really a workable policy even though such a practice may lead to some trips without much to report due to being brain dead on the way there and somewhere and back.

Even in my thoughts, since all I've ever apparently known is the material and the material of this world, my thoughts that are a little more pleasant are just generally visualized, so made up of simulated tangibles and still has ground, and objects, and items, and my body idealized, and its still an animal dream because I know nothing better than what an animal could want, based on senses, including the feelings or senses related to spiritual satisfaction, which to me is still something one physically experiences in some way and is a bodily sensation even if pertaining to psychological factors or things people don't usually think of as being touched even though they still use phrases like "that was touching".
 
Those whom the gods love most, they take away from them everything? Blessed are the meek, etc?
 
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