THINK before you post

wil

wil

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I have modified the THINK before you speak adage.

Which to me is a modern adaptation of what my mom oft repeated..."if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"

Is it _________? If not don't say it!

T true
H helpful
I inspirational
N necessary (oops edit i wrote nice at first)
K kind

There are a few more I like: contemplating how I would appreciate the words pointed towards me; would i be pleased if what i am thinking manifested right now; and will what I have to say improve upon the silence.

When I follow these guidelines it is like a fast... I can't speak, I set into full introspection, focusing on every thought, observing the observer and by the time I have something to say the conversation has moved on three topics and my thought is now either moot or not worthy of interrupting.

As my friends know I am normally vocal, often react instead of stopping to think and respond. Whether it is online or irl friends come to me in concern in these moments, "Are you alright? "

I am not a monk, as I said this contemplation throws me into silence if I follow it to the end degree.

Now my question. I have had many believers that justify grevious violations of the above thought. Their justification is always the fact that they know the truth and are only saying what they say because they love and care for my soul and wish to save me from eternal damnation.

This happens most often from Christians and Muslims...sometimes implied by Baha'i. Never by a Jew or Bhuddist or atheist. While I have run into some vocal Hindus, not from them either.

Some claim ordained or commanded by G!d to do so.

We fight this here by limiting proselytizing. Encouraging interfaith discussion and protecting interreligious discussion in our corrals.

Thoughts?
 
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As a Christian I've come to the absolute knowledge that i can't save anyone only God can. It's not just for me to share the gospel to those who haven't heard it but to set an example of the gospel in my life. That gospel is manifested in kindness and respect and most importantly love.

Yes Wil I care about your soul. You know that.. but I also trust that God loves you more than I possibly could and I trust Him.

In the meantime I'm your friend. I respect you and love you for who you are and what you contribute to this community ... Yes even the grumpy snark. I've been very lucky to see all these fascinating sides of you. ❤️
 
wil said:
I have modified the THINK before you speak adage.

Which to me is a modern adaptation of what my mom oft repeated..."if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"
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That's it .. easier said than done, though ;)
 
muhammad_isa said:
That's it .. easier said than done, though ;)
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Yes, I think accomplishing it will be a vow of silence...which is a thing for some.

Attempting it is a worthy venture.

Simply contemplating it is beneficial. Looking at what you would have said ....what you may wish you could have said, and then examine that with these new lenses (or knew lenses?) Then choosing the words to use, making a conscious choice of how many letters (of THINK) you wish to cmviolate as you contemplate your justifications.

But it is a beneficial half truth..
Yeah it urts me to say this..
Tough love isn't always inspiring...
It has to be said...
One can't be nice and get this important point across..
 
wil said:
Their justification is always the fact that they know the truth and are only saying what they say because they love and care for my soul and wish to save me from eternal damnation.
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I think ‘Truth is best served when we use it to change ourselves. It’s hard enough to change ourselves, and almost impossible to change others.

wil said:
Never by a Jew or Bhuddist or atheist.
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I have met many vocal atheists, who claim they have the truth, there is no God!
 
wil said:
Then choosing the words to use, making a conscious choice of how many letters (of THINK) you wish to cm violate as you contemplate your justifications.
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Sometimes even if you think you're saying something neutral, and/or if you're being consciously careful -- you still can't always predict how someone will take what you say-- you can't always predict how your comments will land. That doesn't mean don't be tactful. It just means even tact doesn't always land right.
 
wil said:
Tough love isn't always inspiring...
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I politely disagree.

It isn't my place to make everyone think like me, and the world would be a rather boring place if everyone did.

But people sometimes need to have a mirror placed in front of them. What they do with that reflection is up to them.
 
TheLightWithin said:
Sometimes even if you think you're saying something neutral, and/or if you're being consciously careful -- you still can't always predict how someone will take what you say-- you can't always predict how your comments will land. That doesn't mean don't be tactful. It just means even tact doesn't always land right.
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The written word is always subject to misinterpretation. Mostly accidental, sometimes intentional.
 
wil said:
TLW, happens.wkth everything eh?

And still worth the try pt barnum...
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Not as much as face to face or even telephonic communication. There is inflection, tone, and other cues (in person there are facial cues and body language) that nuance the words being spoken. Really difficult to do that in print.
 
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