Jokes, jokes, and more jokes ...

I know, droll:

This can pertain to :kitty:s, too:

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
This works for me!

A groaner that I might've posted before:

A bowling joke:

Another truism for the northern hemisphere?

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
This one is very relevant to me right now.
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From my Quora feed (y'all might appreciate this especially if you live with both a dog and a cat):

I asked my dog why she had healthy respect for the cat.

Dog: Cat? What be cat?

Me: The little furry thing? That thing, over there, sleeping in your bed?

Dog: THAT? You mean “Whirring Claws Of Death”?

Me; It’s called a Cat.

Dog: My name better. Her is chainsaw with fur.

Me: Isn’t she your friend? Like, you share your bed with her…

Dog: Me no share. Her take. Me say “please move”. Her say “You like your nose in that shape or you want me trim it for you?”

Me: Aw, she’s not that bad…

Dog: Her eats my food. Her sits on stairs and makes her nails into razor blades. Her is demon chainsawclaws.

Me: Don’t you think you’re exaggerating?

Dog: Member when she tried to disembowel me?

Me: She didn’t, she swiped at your nose and you had a little drop of blood…

Dog: Same thing. Nose is important. All me tried to do was friendly sniff. Her don’t follow rules. Demon.

Me: Look, I’ll pick her up, I’ll show you….

At this point, I picked her up and cuddled her.
She swiped me with her claws, then went back to the dog’s bed.
As I looked at the scratches…

Dog: Told you. Demon Razor Chainsawclaw Whirring claws of death thing. That me name for “cat”. Her be “antisocial”. Need CatAsbo.

At that point the cat said:

Cat: Yes, that’s me, and if the two of you don’t shut up so I can sleep, Imma gonna show you how bad it can get. Now, out.

And then, we both backed quietly out of the room.

Dogs aren’t so much as afraid of cats as what the cat will do.
Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
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Another coffee truism?

Well, there's that question answered!

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
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