what are the theories on this?
say someone who has been a selfish spoiled asshole in many regards for most of his life, doing the worst things imaginable. dishonoring and cursing parents, verbal abuse, anger management, wall punching, trash talking, bitter, ungrateful, sarcasm having wretch. (i have been all these things until i got hit by my own remorse, sadness, and fear of losing my immortal soul)
possibly a bad seed, tare whatever you would call it, at least in some very important regards, an evil child.
do years of this behavior damn someone? with no hope of redemption (you cant take back some things, psychological and emotional damaage inflicted on loved ones)
postive steps are taking, but honestly, how can someone cleanse themself? or is the punishment walking with the burden of guilt and sin? and to continue to walk towards the light and away from the negative path?
taking on all these negative choieswarped my perception of everything. when doing them, im not even sure if i thougt i t was that bad. i was justifying them, saying things were unfair. being confused.
this lead to severe depression and laziness and possibly a psychological situation called schizo tipal, where my mind is set up to think doubly, and parts of my subconscious that thrive on anger greed and lust dont really like me too much.
i was hearing messed p voices
christian thought would say i had demons
and it got worse
at one point i was trying to stop the weird voices and confusions and was trying to get divine helped.
at one point i tried asking a dark spirit, christian satan or devil. to tell me "whats the trut"
and of course in my head i thought i heard satan telling me he was real, and i was being tormented by him, and now i couldn accept jesus, because i had found a loophole and since satan revealed himself to me, i knew that "christianity was right" (this is something i sdont even think, i look to numerous scriptres for knowledge and understanding, and im not even sure if bible can be trusted, but this goes out the window when you start hearing stuff)
since i knew it was right by uhol means, and blessed are those that do not see and yet eleive, how could i beleive now that i had seen satan
i even heard voices inside me saying he could have my soul and burn me in hell forever and all eternity
my jungian psychoanalysis says i got incontact with an archetypal figure in my subconsciousness, a personigficaiton of negative personalities i had nurtured over years by giving into whims, anger, lust and greed
that essenitally, i hate myself, and my shadow really doesnt like me either.
it has convinced my ego that i am unredeemable and deserve "hell"
even though my rational tohught s skeptic that anyone even gets hell.
even so, even if i could redeem myself through actions (and ihave, ive realized mistakes ad am changing"
its too late anyway becuase i "gave my soul to satan in return for the knowledge of his existence"
now i thik i see other lost and damned souls everywhere.
i think they can communicate with me telepathically, like the weird torment of the damned, all able to sense immediately when they see each other. some i think are even mad at me for "blowing their cover" if i see someone on the street and we have that unspoken conection.
sometimes i thik they are a huge network of damned souls spreading lies through other religious paths to keep peop;e from true salvation in jesus.
i used to hate fundamental christian thought, im a jazz musician in love with african and voodoo and indian music for crying outloud!
but now im locked in a great conspiracy of demons and angels
jungian psychology explains this.
but maybe thats just so people that truly will be going to the unthinkable torment of hell will think better and feel better. ease their time on earth, cuz after that, it is really really going to suck?
that makes sense, psychologists just tell the patient what he needs to hear.
maybe psychologists even know that they really DID sel or lose their souls forever.
i know this is out there..
honeslty i get more insight from the egyptian book of life or the bagavad gita then the bible, but im either indoctrinated into a crazy devil myth due to my nurtured darkside, or its all true. and all of the "free spirits" are damning themselves.
or maybe its just people that do worst of the worst, in any path of spirituality, after a certain point of osul defilement, the light becomes snuffed and the devil completely takes them.
peace
