The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor
shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law,
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or
some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing with time. So
we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at which they are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will
not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are
entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the
world
today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of
their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of
these religions, and since people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and
death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell
to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure
in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls
are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until
Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa
Banyan during my Freshman year--that ". . . it will be a cold day in
Hell before I sleep with you"--and take into account the fact that I
still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then
#2 cannot be true; and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and
will not freeze over.
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A" GIVEN.
chemistry mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor
shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law,
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or
some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing with time. So
we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at which they are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will
not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are
entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the
world
today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of
their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of
these religions, and since people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and
death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell
to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure
in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls
are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until
Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa
Banyan during my Freshman year--that ". . . it will be a cold day in
Hell before I sleep with you"--and take into account the fact that I
still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then
#2 cannot be true; and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and
will not freeze over.
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A" GIVEN.
