Hi soleil — as this is 'interfaith' and not Christianity nor theology, I'll offer some personal views in response to your post.
I believe that we go to the place that correspond to the spiritual level we have reached during your physical life.
So do I.
I believe the aim of Catholicism is to be 'conscious' in the afterlife, and thus 'active', as opposed to what St Paul called 'the sleep in Christ'.
Once we are in the spirit world, we do not have our physical body anymore and cannot do good actions.
But if we have conscious spiritual bodies, we can seek to communicate and influence good actions in the physical realm, as do guardian angels, and angels generally. Miracles are often attributed to saints, and one of the tests of a saint is the witness of a miracle attributed to him or her.
The way we can still grow is through the good actions of our descendants.
Indeed. Besides Purgatory, we believe the prayers of the living for the dead are not wasted.
It is our view that there is a difference between spiritual life (angelic orders) and human life. As man is both body and soul, spirit and matter, in the spiritual life man is 'incomplete' — is less than he was created to be.
In the General resurrection, we shall be reborn, in the flesh, as man in spirit and body, bit what form precisely the body will take, we do not know, except that it will replicate the soul perfectly, and be immortal and inocorruptible.
Jesus' resurrection body, which was physical, is the best evidence we have to speculate on this. He was a physical body who could eat and drink and touch ... but also pass through walls, etc., and even pass into and out of man's vision.
Christ's appearance to the travellers on the road to Emmaus (Luke 24) for example.
Likewise, the ascension of Christ recorded in Acts 1, should not be read as if Christ suddenly floated up into the air, like a rocket in slow motion, until he disappeared into the upper atmosphere ... this is symbolic language, meaning Christ ascended the physical realm into a higher realm ... it has close correspondences with the Transfiguration accounts.
In the physical realm we have no control over our physicality, however, reborn spiritually, our physicality will manifest as we so choose.
Thomas