Paladin
Purchased Bewilderment
That's awesome! Two Buddhas bumpin' bellies! Ha, ha, ha!
Yeah. All meaning is derivative, and life is what we make it! You climb and scramble to get on top of the rock, then you wonder "what the hell am I doing up here?" "I'm tired, and there's no place to go to the bathroom!"
I tried like hell to find the all-encompassing model. I tried on ists and isms looking for the ultimate bathing suit. You know, you come out of religion with this giant block on your shoulder, and a serious need for superiority. I've done it all, man! Atheism, then a born again experience when things were tough. Then on to New Age feel-good-ism, into Taoism and Buddhism, and the Western Magical Tradition. I spent years on Kabbalah looking for the ultimate Logos. I dabbled in Scientology, go figure. Then it was Gnosticism, and Theosophy. I've read everything from Rand to Krishnamurti. I've hung out with ISHKONis, meditated with spirit guides, channeled space dudes, lived in a commune, been a vegan... lost weight, gained weight, got married, had kids, got divorced, been a Republican, been a Democrat, thought I was an anarchist. Now...I don't know anything- because I know everything.
It all comes back to purposeful living and the idea that nothing: no philosophy, no dogma, no politics absolves us of our responsibility toward each other, our fellow creatures, and the land. That's it. Empathy and responsibility. Laughing Buddhas indeed!
Chris
If there is anything all encompasing, as far as observation shows, it is simply awareness. That continues, even in deep dreamless sleep it is there.
I also notice that when I put my attention on the feelings of anger, or fear they begin straightaway to fade. Yet when I put my attention on the feeling of love it deepens and widens somehow.
This leads me to think that love has a greater reality than does anything else.
But as for that I really don't know. Since I have come to the end of the spiritual search there is contentment, and the activity of life goes on but the colors are more vibrant, the sounds more noticeable. Little things are more noticeable too, as if everything is salient.
Sometimes I get caught up in the role I play like watching a really exciting movie but being quiet brings back an awareness of equanimity.
Now there is nothing to get and nowhere to go
There is simply isness, aliveness and yes a sense of gratitude for the simple reality the great and wonderful, awe inspiring ordinariness of life.
And of religion? Well, when I see a person's head bent in ernest and genuine prayer, when they have approached their idea of what God must be with nothing to bring but an open heart and empty hands, I am most deeply touched. Have you ever seen or heard something so beautiful it made you cry?
So this is what I am left with now, and it is much more than I ever imagined.