salishan
freesoul
i can't speak for others
but i tend to have my surges of religious feeling
in periods of low libido
so , to me
the elephant in the room when talking about religion
the whale in the Sanctuary , as it were
is sex
the old New England church
at the beginning of John Huston's film-version of Moby Dick (1956)
this Congregationalist sanctuary feels like the bony-innards of a whale
a church erected upon the economics of the whale-hunt
in 19th-century New England , so that
the film-viewer feels like a latter-day Jonah
& the white whale of Herman Melville's story
is some type of sexual symbol , a force of nature
which Puritan economics is trying to destroy
the achieving of economic prosperity as
a kind of spiritual castration
as if a genuinely healthy sex-life
will have no need of religion
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strange year
while the rest of the USA has broiled in record-high spring/summer heat
the Pacific Northwest has remained abnormally cool
Portland not breaking into 80-degree temperatures till late July
the Oregon coast where i live rarely reaches into the 80s , anyway
even in a normally warm July/August for the Pacific Northwest
but last weekend the heat finally comes &
Portland tops the 90-degree mark , thrice
& the temp shows 85-Fahrenheit on my balcony thermometer , overlooking the Pacific Ocean
which is about as high as i ever remember seeing my thermometer go
no one (except hotels) here on the coast have built-in air-conditioning
& , as my father oft said
......a properly insulated house will never need it
......even a house unprotected from sunlight
Pa was big on a deep overhanging roof & foliage & other passive cooling-techniques
& 18 inches of insulation inside the roof
just finished selling the family home , up the coast a-ways
small & not particularly attractive to look at
needing a new composition roof & bolder hue of paint on the siding
but it will be as warm in winter & as cool in summer as u could want
both Pa (heart disease) then Ma (pneumonia) have died in the past 12 months
hold Ma's hand for her last 5 hours
rough year
my ex-roommate Betsy is currently out-west for a visit
which gives me some perspective
Betsy's seen duty in Iraq & Afghanistan
& i think in Somalia & other places she can't tell me about
so hot temperatures are nothing new to her
neither is being with people u care about , while they die
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i'm temperamentally heterosexual
but with Betsy i make an exception
Betsy is Buddhist
......i believe in nothing
she tells me , last weekend
......& this makes me happy
it is my day-off & , even with my 18-inches of insulation
my place bakes , reaching near 90-degrees indoors
Betsy & i lie naked on my futon all day long
sweat & talk , & talk & sweat
tangled in each others' limbs
sweating together
losing ourselves in each others' glands & skin
no longer 2 individuals , just
one big dumb/intelligent sweatcreature
& this helps me thru these days of pain & despair
& loss
to me there is Gyd & there is extinction
& both are equally real , each spiritually manifest
each , equally ego-free
each , an
8-limbed 2-headed sweatcreature