Discussing Matters of Faith:

Quirkybird said:
Whilst it is good to consider the feelings of others, one shouldn't always put others first, even if one does it most of the time. I have a relative who NEVER does anything for herself at all, which is silly, imo.
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I don't know her of course, but it sounds like your relative is just being herself. For many people, serving others fulfills their own desires. Just as you would not want to give up your sense of self, for them to place their feelings ahead of others would be giving up their sense of self. We're all different.
 
Namaste Jesus said:
I don't know her of course, but it sounds like your relative is just being herself. For many people, serving others fulfills their own desires. Just as you would not want to give up your sense of self, for them to place their feelings ahead of others would be giving up their sense of self. We're all different.
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It does probably fulfil her needs but it drives others crazy. When she visits me I practically have to tie her to her chair to stop her taking over my chores and kitchen!:D
 
Quirkybird said:
Whilst it is good to consider the feelings of others, one shouldn't always put others first, even if one does it most of the time.
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My view is quite different. I have always believed one should take care of oneself first. Doing that gives a person the time and energy to help others in a healthy way.
 
Quirkybird said:
It does probably fulfil her needs but it drives others crazy. When she visits me I practically have to tie her to her chair to stop her taking over my chores and kitchen!:D
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I wonder if its actually faith that motivates her or control ...
 
Namaste Jesus said:
Achieving Dharma is not about giving up self. It's about giving up selfishness and considering the feeling of others before your own.

As I said, that's easier said then done, as people seldom return the favor.
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I think the point is to practice selflessness regardless (or without expecting) if people return the favor or not...

"easier said than done" --- totally agree... we are all so imperfect...
 
Namaste Jesus said:
I don't know her of course, but it sounds like your relative is just being herself. For many people, serving others fulfills their own desires. Just as you would not want to give up your sense of self, for them to place their feelings ahead of others would be giving up their sense of self. We're all different.
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I agree with you completely here. My parents, my girlfriend and her parents and my best friends... they all put others before themselves and that's what makes them 'who they are'. These are the people I've learned so much from. I love them immensely for it and I want to be just like them.

Tad
 
I do a lot for others, especially my family, but think it very important to do something for myself too.
 
Quirkybird said:
I do a lot for others, especially my family, but think it very important to do something for myself too.
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I don't think anyone suggested you don't do anything for others or we shouldn't do anything for ourselves. I think what NJ insightfully pointed out was the contradiction in your statement. On one hand, you say "it's important not to give up 'self' (which I interpret as 'who s/he is')", but on the other, you seem to criticize your relative for being 'who she is'... If she is naturally a giving person and if putting others needs before hers fulfills her 'self', what's your beef?
 
Tadashi said:
I don't think anyone suggested you don't do anything for others or we shouldn't do anything for ourselves. I think what NJ insightfully pointed out was the contradiction in your statement. On one hand, you say "it's important not to give up 'self' (which I interpret as 'who s/he is')", but on the other, you seem to criticize your relative for being 'who she is'... If she is naturally a giving person and if putting others needs before hers fulfills her 'self', what's your beef?
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I have a feeling my relative does as she does because she feels she has to not because she wants to.
 
Tadashi said:
So? It's still her prerogative to decide how she lives.
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Not if it impinges on the life of others negatively, as sadly it has done. One such incident, a few months ago back fired very badly indeed unfortunately, and could have resulted in a death.:eek:
 
Quirkybird said:
Not if it impinges on the life of others negatively, as sadly it has done. One such incident, a few months ago back fired very badly indeed unfortunately, and could have resulted in a death.:eek:
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Sounds like its a temporary inconvenience ...
Relatives are known for this; our own children do the same ...
Just depends on what one wants to be annoyed by ...
As for the one time incident, accidents do happen - they're not intentional ...
She does sound like she has a good heart ... ;)
 
Zinga said:
Sounds like its a temporary inconvenience ...
Relatives are known for this; our own children do the same ...
Just depends on what one wants to be annoyed by ...
As for the one time incident, accidents do happen - they're not intentional ...
She does sound like she has a good heart ... ;)
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Hmmmmmmm, she thinks she has, others would beg to differ, especially as she cocked up so very badly a few months ago!
 
Quirkybird said:
Not if it impinges on the life of others negatively, as sadly it has done.
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Okay, then could you please stop being so negative about the Bible and God? It affects my mood negatively when I constantly hear someone badmouthing about it... :(

Quirkybird said:
One such incident, a few months ago back fired very badly indeed unfortunately, and could have resulted in a death.:eek:
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Then I suggest you help correcting 'that particular behavior' which may lead to a bad outcome, but not her selfless nature itself.
 
Tadashi said:
Okay, then could you please stop being so negative about the Bible and God? It affects my mood negatively when I constantly hear someone badmouthing about it... :(

Then I suggest you help correcting 'that particular behavior' which may lead to a bad outcome, but not her selfless nature itself.
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I can't see anything positive about the psychopathic Biblical deity, so will comment about it negatively. You can always ignore my posts if you don't like what I have to say, it will not bother me in the slightest degree.:D

The person concerned will do her own thing, I have no influence over her.
 
"It affects my mood negatively when I constantly hear someone badmouthing about it..."

--> Do you approve of a God who puts a curse on women just because they are women? Do you expect people to not talk negatively about a book which characterizes God in this way?
 
I suspect some people must wear rose coloured spectacles when reading the Bible, how else can the deity be described as a 'Gods of love' when all its actions are far from loving?
 
You guys just don't get it.

That's an interpretation of God by the ancient people. I think I said many times that's not the God I believe in.
 
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