Mason said:
Oh, thats really very nice ^_^, thank you. But at the moment i'm considering heavily about stopping my studying of Islam. I feel like i've been battered and bruised at the moment, this decision to stop or carry on is really making me sick. It seems i look one way (away from Islam) and the grass looks greener & then someone goes and says something like you did above and its the opposite way round. I tried writing the good points and the bad in a comparative way but it seemed very even. I just don't know if i can cope, especially with my brother making fun of me about it, i really don't know how he thinks he knows.
I don't have a clue what your going to say after this reply,... but i just don't want to make the wrong decision and destroy my life in the process.
I dont know exactly what you are going through as i was born Muslim. If there is a convert here, i request him/her to comment.
Anyway, i'll say a few things from what i can guess what you might be going through. Sorry if i get it wrong.
It seems i look one way (away from Islam) and the grass looks greener & then someone goes and says something like you did above and its the opposite way round.
It is no doubt a difficult and often scary decision. This is what reverts
[1] have told me. One thing I would say is that Islam
is about submission. This life is a test for the hereafter. This life is about obeying God, not about obeying our whims and desires. Dont worry too much about your brother... If you become muslim one day, maybe later he just might too through what good he sees of you. He will inshallah [God-willing] see the positive changes in you and hopefully it will have a good affect on him.
I just don't know if i can cope
yes, you will have to strive and you shall be tested as were nations before us. Put your trust in Allah. Try your best. Remember that God is Most-Gracious, Most-Merciful and Oft-Forgiving.
I will say something now based on experience with reverts. It may not apply in your case as you have not said anything to indicate this. Still, i will say it but if my assumption is wrong, ignore what i say in this regard. It is often a point with those who accept Islam before they accept it. Maybe you have done alot of bad things, God knows we all have.I am pointing this material out for you in an effort to encourage you.
Say: “O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful. [Qur'an, 39:53]
‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas was a
mushrik (polytheist, idol-worshipper), a sinner and an enemy of Allaah. He said: “When Allaah put the love of Islam into my heart, I came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to pledge my allegiance to him. He stretched out his hand towards me, but I said, ‘I will not pledge allegiance to you, O Messenger of Allaah, until you forgive me my previous sins.’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me, ‘O ‘Amr, do you not know that Islam wipes out whatever sins came before it.’”
(Narrated by Imaam Ahmad).
Hope this helped. And with Allaah lies all guidance.
[1] Muslim convert