Hi Bandit,
okee dokee rdwillia
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, i wont chase you around the mulberry bush, but it sounds like church dogma & i see some things different. i can turn it all off & on at will with no problems but will never consider myself or any other person 'beyond' the way it is being used.
if i need tegratol i know where to go, so i guess i am liberated in a different way.
Ouch, that stings a little. But... no, no, no... I really don't want to come across like that. Dogma... the dictionary says;
"A doctrine or a corpus of doctrines relating to matters such as morality and faith, set forth in an authoritative manner by a church."
One of the main qualities in Buddhism is that in the actual life lessons require no faith. An idea is given and one decides of his/her own accord whether it works or not. I am simply saying what I have because I have seen, on however small a scale, that for me, it's working already, with very little practice.
I think I know very well what you mean by counting your suffering as joy. I truly believe we can all have our own forms of liberation that can be very different and completely equal at the same time. I would never attempt to really impose my beliefs on you but you were here and discussing so I was attempting to clarify myself. Chase me all around that mulberry bush, it helps to to clarify my own beliefs to myself.
Back to counting suffering as joyous... I have a tendency to do this. My entire life I've been attracted to the rainy days, the sad songs, the sad movies, and as I said, I now know how to learn from my suffering. I also had a very serious drug problem several years ago and I'm very thankful for that experience. I wouldn't be where I'm at today without it, but I truly believe that even all of this this is an attachment I must break. I guess it stems from my
feeling like I have suffered for countless lifetimes since beginningless time. I feel like a very "old soul" and it's exhausting at times. Sometimes it feels like life is just nagging me, constantly pecking at me. Nothing horrible most of the time but just enough to bug the hell out of me and make me think that there has to be something better.
A lot of people tend to misinterpret some Buddhist ideals for avoidance and I quite honestly live in a different world most of the time but I'm not spacey. It's quite different from avoidance, I truly believe that everything comes down to the mind and perception. We, as I've said way too many times, create our own experience by our thoughts and actions and the way we perceive things. Pain and suffering are a mind set, hell is a mind set, and so it follows heaven too, is a mindset.
I'm really ready to move on to "heaven" and honestly would like to figure it all out so that I can help show others how I did it, because obviously right now I'm failing miserably. I have a superhero complex and would like to save the world even if it's self-righteous to think that others may need help in the first place. Right now, it would be extremely arrogant to claim I know the way, because I don't. If you don't want to get away from your pain, then obviously you
are doing better than a lot of us. Because I'm sick and tired of it and I believe that there's a link to self-cherishing in the suffering we experience.
Tegratol? If you don't mind my asking, do you have epilepsy? I have some PM questions if you do and don't mind discussing it.
i am more so looking forward to our discussion on progress & regress in Comparative Study, soon or after the New Year, so dont let me forget.
I completely forgot about this. Yes, I'll have to nag you about that.
Thanks!
~rdwillia