Jokes, jokes, and more jokes ...

A truism?
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I apologize if this is AI-generated (as usual...)
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I know, droll/"dad joke":
I Often Say To Myself,

"I Can't Believe That Cloning

Machine Worked!" - Posted on my LiveJournal feed
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Sad but true:
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Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
A truism?
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Makes perfect sense to me!
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Poor Cthulhu
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I know, droll/"dad joke":
I Was Going To Buy A

Book On Phobias,

But I Was Afraid

It Wouldn't Help Me.
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Suc-ker! (Calvin strikes again!)
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Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
A truism?
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Another ☕ truism?
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I know. droll/"dad joke":
"My Friend Made A Joke

About A TV Controller.

It Wasn't Remotely Funny."
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No!! Not the Gumdrop Buttons!!
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This might work!
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Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
Another ☕ truism?
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You can run...
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Another "dad joke":
I Saw A Documentary On How

Ships Are Kept Together.

It Was Riveting!
(I know, droll)

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
A ☕truism? (Features a :kitty:!)
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Another "dad joke" from my LiveJournal feed:

My Boss Is Going To Fire

The Employee With

The Worst Posture.

I Have A Hunch,

It Might Be Me.

(I know, droll...)

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
I know, droll/"dad joke":

My Friend Keeps Saying, "Cheer

Up Man It Could Be Worse, You

Could Be Stuck Underground

In A Hole Full Of Water..."

I Know He Means Well.
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By any other name...
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Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
Another ☕truism?
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This was posted on my friend, Tyler's, Discord:
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A truism?
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I apologize if this is a reposting/AI-generated:
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Y'all might recognize the original song this :kitty: is "singing":
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Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
Another ☕truism?
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Another truism? (I apologize if this is AI-generated/a repost)
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Calvin strikes again!
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Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
I know, "dad joke"/droll:

A Termite Walks Into A

Bar And Asks,

"Is The Bar Tender Here?"
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Another ☕ truism?
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Oh, no! (Another truism posted on my LiveJournal feed):
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Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"

So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back - eyes wide and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit?" she asked. No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-Two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." the officer asks.

"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."
 
An elderly woman rushed to the pharmacy to pick up medication, but when she returned to her car, she realized she had locked her keys inside.

Looking around, she spotted an old rusty coat hanger on the ground. She picked it up and whispered, “Lord, I have no idea how to use this.”
So she bowed her head and prayed, “Please, God, send someone to help me.”

Just minutes later, a beat-up old motorcycle pulled into the lot. A bearded man in a biker skull rag got off and asked, “Need some help, ma’am?”

She explained, “My daughter is sick. I’ve locked my keys in the car. I need to get home. Can you use this hanger to open it?” The biker smiled and said, “Sure.”

In less than a minute, her car was unlocked.

Overcome with emotion, she hugged the man and cried, "Thank you, God, for sending me such a kind man!"

The biker chuckled and said, "Lady, I’m not a good man. I just got out of prison yesterday… for car theft."

The woman hugged him even tighter and sobbed, "Oh, thank you, God… You even sent me a professional!"
 
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