Amica
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Salam to all of you!
I have a concern. My native language is not Arabic. Majority of my life I have been very lazy and indifferent about Islam, even though I believed in Allah Almighty all the time and considered myself to be Muslim. Just recently I started practicing Islam and I pray in Arabic, as Muslims all over the globe do. However, I am bothered by the fact that I do not understand 99% of what I am saying in the prayers. I have read the interpretations but I was able to memorize very little of the translations. This trully bothers me because it not only affects my concentration in prayer (because my mind wants to wander and even thinks evil things) but I feel horribly bad after for not being able to understand and not being able to control my thoughts. I trully find that the surahs/prayers are easily memorized if they are in the Arabic language and hard if they are in my native language or English.
Then, I have been reading a lot about the Judgement Day and the signs of its coming. One of the hadiths mentioned that before the Judgement Day there will be Muslims who will pray but will have emptiness in them. I wonder if this is referring to the fact that the majority of Muslims today are not Arabs and possibly do not understand Arabic fully well? I fear that I may be among those.
Despite my faults, for reasons known only to Allah The Merciful, He has guided me back to Islam. He showed His Mercy on me because it feels as if my eyes are opened and I see things I did not notice before. Yet, the war between evil and good inside me is making me feel horrible.
Has anyone of you experienced similar or heard of someone who went through the same things? What about not understanding the Arabic language yet praying?
I have a concern. My native language is not Arabic. Majority of my life I have been very lazy and indifferent about Islam, even though I believed in Allah Almighty all the time and considered myself to be Muslim. Just recently I started practicing Islam and I pray in Arabic, as Muslims all over the globe do. However, I am bothered by the fact that I do not understand 99% of what I am saying in the prayers. I have read the interpretations but I was able to memorize very little of the translations. This trully bothers me because it not only affects my concentration in prayer (because my mind wants to wander and even thinks evil things) but I feel horribly bad after for not being able to understand and not being able to control my thoughts. I trully find that the surahs/prayers are easily memorized if they are in the Arabic language and hard if they are in my native language or English.
Then, I have been reading a lot about the Judgement Day and the signs of its coming. One of the hadiths mentioned that before the Judgement Day there will be Muslims who will pray but will have emptiness in them. I wonder if this is referring to the fact that the majority of Muslims today are not Arabs and possibly do not understand Arabic fully well? I fear that I may be among those.
Despite my faults, for reasons known only to Allah The Merciful, He has guided me back to Islam. He showed His Mercy on me because it feels as if my eyes are opened and I see things I did not notice before. Yet, the war between evil and good inside me is making me feel horrible.
Has anyone of you experienced similar or heard of someone who went through the same things? What about not understanding the Arabic language yet praying?