17th Angel
לבעוט את התחת ולקחת שמות
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I remember having a great fear of God when younger. Well, not God himself, but a fear of hell instead. I feared doing the wrong things, and not pleasing him. I stumbled greatly during those days, and still do at times when I fear not being on the right path, or not believing in the right things.
Can this be productive? I mean, can fear lead a person to true respect, and addoration? It seems nowdays I belive in God and Love him, but I get confused when it comes to Jesus. Was he God, and if he was, why won't I believe it? (Fear of being wrong, I think)
It would seem to me that the Spirit is what counts, and beliving in God, and honoring him the best you can, wether you view him in a physical form, or not. I think he [Jesus] was certainly the son of God, and that he came for God, and in his Spirit. I fear being wrong about not viewing and worshiping Jesus as God, though. I can't change what I'm able to believe, and not believe, and this causes me fear, which is quite miserable at times.
Then I'll go back to Love, and I'll feel accepted, and joyous again, but my mind always seems to go back to fearing I'm wrong about Jesus. It's a brutal cycle of fear that seems to have no end./shrug
Can this be productive at all? God's not telling me Jesus is God, he's not telling me I have to believe he was, but he 'seems' to be showing me through my inward state that Love, and Spirit, and condition of heart is what matters. Why can't I keep these more fruitful things, and forego my mental fear of being wrong? (I don't expect anyone to answer this one)
Anyway, I think fear cripples the heart, and becomes a great stumbling block for many...
Love,
I think fear no matter what is a bad thing to have and a weakness... If you fear something, you're going to mess up. You'll freeze, hesitate, choose the wrong answer, dodge the wrong way, lack honesty and so on and so forth... And as we are mere humans anyway we mess up enough as it is..... If your god was real and I knew he was real I wouldn't fear him. I never offer anything or one my fear. Just my way of life..