9Harmony said:
Thanks wil, yes I think that is crucial. It's important to put ourselves in their shoes, and treat others accordingly.
Storytime!
Yesterday when I was young....and foolish....actually years and years and seems like years ago...
, I had a multitude of free thanksgiving meal ensembles on my hands. I had gotten all this with coupons. I went to the secretary of the community where I live, and asked if she knew of anyone who could use some extra food. The secretary informed me that there was a family who had just been through a really bad time. The woman was very ill, and her dad who lived with them had just passed away. His social security check had been their only income, and there were kids to feed.
I thought I would be just so helpful by anonymously giving them a bunch of food. I went to the door with the groceries two days before the holiday, and a young man answered. I said I had been asked to bring these things over. The man asked me who sent them, and I said that I had promised not to tell. He said that the family could not use the gift.
I looked at this scraggly-looking person, and I observed the three little scruffy angels peeking out from around him, and thought "What a jerk!". So I said that I had no choice but to leave these things. The man reluctantly took the bags, shaking his head all the while, and I left rather peeved and confused.
I later found out that they hadn't been able to pay their utility bill, so they had no way to cook the food. Boy, did I learn from that experience. I never got a chance to apologize, for they had moved or been ousted or something by the time I found out.
Ever since then, if I want to help with food, I research things a bit more. I find organizations I can go through, or if it is someone I know well enough, I forego the anonymous bit and just ask them if they want whatever it is I think they need. If it is food, I usually cook it myself, unless I know it is something they would enjoy and are able to do.
I had been so proud of myself for not telling them who was helping...that was wrong. That was for me, not them--but I just didn't know it at the time. Not that there is anything wrong with remaining anonymous when it is appropriate, but charity takes a special, truly unselfish form, and sometimes what the person really needs is inadvertantly overlooked. I have even heard people say, when they come to the food pantry in need, that they wish they knew who to thank. The only answer I can give them, then, is to thank God, for He is Love, and whoever donated the food did so in Love.
Well, just rambling again. Thought it might be helpful and relevent.
InPeace,
InLove
P.S. Oh yeah--and "Love" can also be an adjective.