Through my life my tendency has been a 'distaste' for homosexuality. I love women and the thought of intimacy with a man is repugnant to me. Even here on other threads I have argued at length about what I see as the wrongs of so called 'positive discrimination'. I think many gays would even call me homophobic. But as time has passed and more studies have published I have been forced to accept that it is not merely a lifestyle choice, but a disposition that a person should not be forced to repress. It harms nobody. It can only offend ignorance and intollerance. And no institution of any kind should be permitted to discriminate against people for it.
For me it all changed when I saw a documentary on trans-sexual people. It was where you often had (but not always) "girls born with penises" and "boys born with vaginas." But even without the bits, a woman could have a predominantly masculine personality and a man could have a feminine personality. You'd have a man who is a man on the outside, but emotionally, he's a woman. If he gets married to a woman, things aren't going to work out . . . he needs a sex change.
I started thinking . . . if a person born with man's body could have a feminine personality, could a feminine personality not be attracted to another feminine personality? If you could have misplaced bodies, why not also deviant minds? This is what homosexuality is, it is a person of a particular gender attracted to the same gender. It's not the body. It's the mind.
I make a distinction between sex and gender. Sex is physical. Gender is emotional. The impression I've got from self-confessed homosexuals is that homosexuality isn't physical. It's emotional. That means that homosexuality doesn't really exist. It's not a sexual thing. It's a gender thing. It shouldn't be called homosexuality. It should be called "homogenderality," if such a word exists. That also means that there's no such thing as heterosexuality either. It's heterogenderality. Same with bisexuality. There are no bisexuals. It's bigenderality. Nevertheless, I think I should continue using these terms to avoid confusion.
You could also have trans-sexual homosexuals. Suppose you have a trans-sexual woman, a woman with a masculine personality. If that woman is also homosexual, then she'd be attracted to a man. On the outside, things seem normal. It's a man with a woman's body attracted to a man with a man's body. What people don't know is that it's a man trapped inside a woman's body. It's a masculine personality attracted to another masculine personality.
It may be true that people may have some control over their sexuality, that you could become homosexual or heterosexual. I have imagined, at some stages in my life, what it would mean to be attracted to a man. There is a possibility that if I really pushed myself, that if I really wanted to be attracted to men, I could effect a tremendous, lengthy and time-consuming emotional transformation, over several years, where I would "learn" to be homosexual.
This has not been proven, because I have never experimented on that, and nor do I want to because I like who I am. Having said that, I can understand how homosexuals must feel about this. They realise they are homosexual and like what they are, even though society despises them. Homosexual men like being attracted to men. Homosexual women like being attracted to women. Heterosexuals like being attracted to the opposite sex.
If a heterosexual like me is unwilling to attempt an emotional transformation to homosexuality (which might not even be possible in the first place), why expect homosexuals to do the same? It's a bit unfair.
It's like asking them to do plastic/cosmetic surgery (and, pardon me, if I may mention it, penile enlargement). It's saying that they shouldn't be happy with themselves, that they should be ashamed of themselves.
