Netti-Netti
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In my own experience, a good teacher makes someone comfortable with their doubts to where they can study those doubts and get a better understanding of what they're about. Diffusing the doubts helps the person get better oriented and able to see the situation for what it is.A good teacher makes someone uncomfortable....
The difference becomes more understandable over time. Like other relationships, even a carefully planned student/teacher relationship will have a life of its own, shaped by unpredictable qualities arising from the personalities involved. Conscious decisions may actually not factor into it very much, especially for a student who is not clear on the goals to begin with (and for whom they may not be understandable for some time).A teacher should not, in my opinion, resonate (not) because the person is what you want them to be, but rather because the person awakens potential and growth in you.
Again, I suspect this becomes clear only in hindsight. It's hard to know whether someone's antics are self-serving or purposeful with respect to important goals.Deeply spiritual teachers may have a great deal of power, but they will have risen above the desire to throw it around or use it to control others, and they will not ask you to admire them as much as to investigate yourself.
A quick thought: Unless a present day teacher is a Vedic scholar and the interaction is focused on passing on the Vedas and learning the memory techniques, the relationship wouldn't even resemble a traditional Guru-shishya relationship by which the Vedic oral tradition was preserved for hundreds of years.
Anyone in the West who would call him/herself a "Guru" would need to be aware that by joking around with the title, they risk making it essentially meaningless by simply ignoring the origins in a very specific tradition. Same is true for anyone who calls a teacher "guru."
It's very artificial. It's also out of touch with the historic tradition. The guruparampara lineage involves a transmission of Vedic knowledge from one guru to the next. That's how the original Guru-shishya relationship was intended. To be faithful to that concept, you'd study with a Guru if you were planning to become a Guru yourself, and then you'd be able to pass Veda on to someone one else.The Western idea of Guru is someone you sign up with in order to get a crash course in enlightenment -i.e., someone with occult or esoteric knowledge to impart. This strikes me as artificial.