Zen of Farting

[shawn]

An actual book, thought it would be a gas
Product Description
A hilarious parody of Zen literature and a satire of pop spirituality consumers, The Zen of Farting features Reepah Gud Wan as the master teacher. His story is told in the preface, while the rest of the book translates "The Way of the Gouda," a collection of Zen precepts and discourses as interpreted by Wan. The book covers diet, deep breathing, postures, and the appropriate use of flowers and incense, along with such koans as "What is the sound of no one farting?" This riotous, illustrated send-up of spiritual growth books is perfect for bathroom humor enthusiasts and parody collectors alike.

About the Author
No one knows much about Reepah Gud Wan, who lived before the 10th century in China and Japan, except that he was a legitimate Buddhist monk who tired of the inability of his students to grasp the essence of his teaching. In order to shake them up, he introduced the Zen of Farting, expecting his students to see the joke, laugh at it, and then understand his Buddhist teachings better. Unfortunately, they failed to get the joke--and zen was the result.

 

[citizenzen]

One of my funniest zendo experiences occurred over a fart.

We were participating in a week-long intensive meditation sesshin. The meals were held in the zendo under complete silence. Just before the meal is served one of the attendants clapped two wooden blocks together, which was followed by a long, loud fart from one of the participants.

The whole room erupted into a group of giggling and snickering five year-olds, desperately trying to stifle their laughter, but failing as it spilled out uncontrolled. The rest of the meal was spend half-laughing, half-eating, with an uncontainable smile on everybody's face.

Zen farts, the best zen of all.

 

[Dream]

You think this is funny or are you being serious?

 

[juantoo3]

More powerful than a fart in an elevator!

 

[citizenzen]

You think this is funny or are you being serious?

I usually mark my sarcasm with a wink.

Usually.

(Now I have him really confused!)

 

[seattlegal]

 

[citizenzen]

 

[Dream]

Oh, not you too!

Oh brother. Now I'll never find balance!

 

[seattlegal]

Oh, not you too!



Oh brother. Now I'll never find balance!

Hmm, you need some exercises to help. Follow this smiley:

When you can master this exercise, then try closing your eyes before you lift your foot. When you can achieve this, you have found balance.

{I know, it's counter-intuitive to close your eyes in order to find something, but it's really quite remarkable when you can do it.}

 

[wil]

Release, renunciation, elimination....

Whether its gas, liquid or solid, being completely serious, expelling toxic waste from your temple... can be exhilerating, embarassing, cathartic, meditative and more...

 

[Saltmeister]

The whole room erupted into a group of giggling and snickering five year-olds, desperately trying to stifle their laughter, but failing as it spilled out uncontrolled. The rest of the meal was spend half-laughing, half-eating, with an uncontainable smile on everybody's face.

What about half-farting?

 

[nativeastral]

Release, renunciation, elimination....

Whether its gas, liquid or solid, being completely serious, expelling toxic waste from your temple... can be exhilerating, embarassing, cathartic, meditative and more...

yeh, like, em smelly!!

 

[Snoopy]

perfect for bathroom humor enthusiasts and parody collectors alike.

In this category, very funny and perfectly-titled is Can't Be Arsed by Richard Wilson (not the actor, but the man behind Have I Got News for You).

Laugh until you sh1t yourself.

Perfect.

Can't Be Arsed: Amazon.co.uk: Richard Wilson: Books

s.

 

[Francis king]

farting is only ever a serious business when one "follows through"...

 

[Dream]

I fought a fart but the fart won

Whales weep not and paintings fart not
Oceans may freeze but farting never ceases
Nature calls but farting retorts
Love is strong, love must be strong

 

[nativeastral]

I fought a fart but the fart won

Whales weep not and paintings fart not
Oceans may freeze but farting never ceases
Nature calls but farting retorts
Love is strong, love must be strong

must be to handle that smell!

 

[shawn]

Benjamin Franklin said to "fart proudly".
Amazon.com: Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School: Carl Japikse: Books

 

[shawn]

Amazon.com: Who Cut the Cheese: A Cultural History of the Fart: Jim Dawson: Books
Roman poet Martial wrote "I would prefer that you fart, because...that would be useful, and at the same time, it stimulates laughter".

So we see, fart jokes and even the joke of the fart just never goes out of style.....timeless....priceless.

But with global warming on the rise, they will soon figure out how to tax us for our flatulence excesses....methane you say..hmmm.

 

[seattlegal]

Amazon.com: Who Cut the Cheese: A Cultural History of the Fart: Jim Dawson: Books
Roman poet Martial wrote "I would prefer that you fart, because...that would be useful, and at the same time, it stimulates laughter".

So we see, fart jokes and even the joke of the fart just never goes out of style.....timeless....priceless.

But with global warming on the rise, they will soon figure out how to tax us for our flatulence excesses....methane you say..hmmm.

Oh, that's why some Zen masters behave strangely--they've been huffing the methane! (I see...)

 

[nativeastral]

wonder if the biochemics of an overdose of fart inhalation has been scientifically investigated, could be the new 'f' to supercede the old 'e'!