Though much is taken into consideration about dating I am just wondering what is the church stand for this? Dating nowadays has a very big difference compared to what dating is 20 years ago.
I have no idea what dating was like 20 years ago. I was only a kid then.
Being promiscuous is just but a natural this days. I don't where values is taught or placed today. You are not "in" or "cool" if you don't make advances.
That's a shame. I don't like it either. I've been told that "if you don't kiss the girl on the first date, you're a gentleman. If you don't kiss her on the second date, you're gay." To me that's just rubbish!!!! Not kissing a girl doesn't make you gay.
One of the shocks when I got online and started exploring and talking about dating was that I found out how early intimacy began for a lot of people. I grew up with the idea that people didn't "make love" until they got married. What I found out was a real shock when I started reading and talking about it online. People lost their virginity without any intention of marriage and they said it was a good thing!!!
While I accept that society has changed, and won't be judgmental if someone says such behaviour is ok, this liberal attitude of mine does not extend to denying the problems and dangers. Over the years, after reading the occasional article on dating and intimacy that came up on the Yahoo! web site and Google searching when I got curious, the one thing I learnt from all this is that we now live in a very sex and intimacy-obsessed society. Marriage is seen as the gateway to intimacy and fulfillment.
That is what I see as the problem in today's society: people's desire for intimacy (including sex). If people didn't demand intimacy, they would be much more satisfied. They would focus on hospitality, being polite and showing grace to others.
I hope every Sunday service. Young people Sunday service should have a sermon about this thing. Young people should be taught about setting the boundaries on dating, the pros and cons on it.
I hope there should be more emphasis on teaching our young people more about morally approve dating. It's for their own good too.
To me it's not a moral issue, but a practical one and actually it shouldn't be about boundaries, but reducing our desires and needs. I think today's society puts too much emphasis on intimacy and relationship fulfillment. I actually think that people shouldn't make love at all!!! There should be no intimacy in a marriage. Full stop. I think intimacy actually ruins a marriage. People in previous generations were satisfied with a lack of intimacy. A husband was a breakwinner. A wife was a housekeeper. It's boring but that's how it used to work. You didn't get married for a relationship. You got married because society expected that of you. The eleventh commandment is "thou shalt get married and have babies."
Because of modernism, modernity and this "new magic" which Jeannie called "technology," all of a sudden everyone wants more and everyone is satisfied with less. Compared to previous generations, we're living like kings and queens. We're living like Solomon, the Sultan and the Chinese emperor and their many wives and concubines. The Little Emperor syndrome has got to us all.
It shouldn't be about that mushy, juicy kiss. Hollywood has done a lot in changing people's ideas about love and marriage. According to Hollywood, if you didn't have a shag you didn't have a relationship. Hollywood can go to hell (and pardon me, but Hollywood can just f**k off). Marriage is an indicator of status, not a gateway to intimacy and fulfillment.
I love the movies, but not the lies they tell. I don't think God ever meant for us to be Little Emperors -- that we should live in imperial palaces and forbidden cities.