church position on Love and Dating

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alodia12

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Though much is taken into consideration about dating I am just wondering what is the church stand for this? Dating nowadays has a very big difference compared to what dating is 20 years ago. Being promiscuous is just but a natural this days. I don't where values is taught or placed today. You are not "in" or "cool" if you don't make advances. I hope every Sunday service. Young people Sunday service should have a sermon about this thing. Young people should be taught about setting the boundaries on dating, the pros and cons on it. I hope there should be more emphasis on teaching our young people more about morally approve dating. It's for their own good too.
 
Though much is taken into consideration about dating I am just wondering what is the church stand for this? Dating nowadays has a very big difference compared to what dating is 20 years ago.

I have no idea what dating was like 20 years ago. I was only a kid then.:eek:

Being promiscuous is just but a natural this days. I don't where values is taught or placed today. You are not "in" or "cool" if you don't make advances.

That's a shame. I don't like it either. I've been told that "if you don't kiss the girl on the first date, you're a gentleman. If you don't kiss her on the second date, you're gay." To me that's just rubbish!!!! Not kissing a girl doesn't make you gay.

One of the shocks when I got online and started exploring and talking about dating was that I found out how early intimacy began for a lot of people. I grew up with the idea that people didn't "make love" until they got married. What I found out was a real shock when I started reading and talking about it online. People lost their virginity without any intention of marriage and they said it was a good thing!!!

While I accept that society has changed, and won't be judgmental if someone says such behaviour is ok, this liberal attitude of mine does not extend to denying the problems and dangers. Over the years, after reading the occasional article on dating and intimacy that came up on the Yahoo! web site and Google searching when I got curious, the one thing I learnt from all this is that we now live in a very sex and intimacy-obsessed society. Marriage is seen as the gateway to intimacy and fulfillment.

That is what I see as the problem in today's society: people's desire for intimacy (including sex). If people didn't demand intimacy, they would be much more satisfied. They would focus on hospitality, being polite and showing grace to others.

I hope every Sunday service. Young people Sunday service should have a sermon about this thing. Young people should be taught about setting the boundaries on dating, the pros and cons on it.

I hope there should be more emphasis on teaching our young people more about morally approve dating. It's for their own good too.

To me it's not a moral issue, but a practical one and actually it shouldn't be about boundaries, but reducing our desires and needs. I think today's society puts too much emphasis on intimacy and relationship fulfillment. I actually think that people shouldn't make love at all!!! There should be no intimacy in a marriage. Full stop. I think intimacy actually ruins a marriage. People in previous generations were satisfied with a lack of intimacy. A husband was a breakwinner. A wife was a housekeeper. It's boring but that's how it used to work. You didn't get married for a relationship. You got married because society expected that of you. The eleventh commandment is "thou shalt get married and have babies."

Because of modernism, modernity and this "new magic" which Jeannie called "technology," all of a sudden everyone wants more and everyone is satisfied with less. Compared to previous generations, we're living like kings and queens. We're living like Solomon, the Sultan and the Chinese emperor and their many wives and concubines. The Little Emperor syndrome has got to us all.

It shouldn't be about that mushy, juicy kiss. Hollywood has done a lot in changing people's ideas about love and marriage. According to Hollywood, if you didn't have a shag you didn't have a relationship. Hollywood can go to hell (and pardon me, but Hollywood can just f**k off). Marriage is an indicator of status, not a gateway to intimacy and fulfillment.

I love the movies, but not the lies they tell. I don't think God ever meant for us to be Little Emperors -- that we should live in imperial palaces and forbidden cities.
 
Marriage is an indicator of status, not a gateway to intimacy and fulfillment.

You know Salty, this might be one of the most profound things I have ever heard. :)
 
I do marriage counseling, and here are my thoughts on it. Most people who get married will end up either divorced or wishing they were divorced. The sad thing is, they usually do not see a divorce coming or see the warning signs (or they choose to ignore the warning signs). The church is trying to stop these kinds of divorces, which is a good thing. (But they go at it the wrong way, which is a bad thing.)
 
Though much is taken into consideration about dating I am just wondering what is the church stand for this? Dating nowadays has a very big difference compared to what dating is 20 years ago. Being promiscuous is just but a natural this days. I don't where values is taught or placed today. You are not "in" or "cool" if you don't make advances. I hope every Sunday service. Young people Sunday service should have a sermon about this thing. Young people should be taught about setting the boundaries on dating, the pros and cons on it. I hope there should be more emphasis on teaching our young people more about morally approve dating. It's for their own good too.

What dating is 20 years ago, even I do not know. But yes when I was a kid, my neighbor loves some girl and this is not known in both of their families. They both meet outside home but with having lot of fear in their hearts. If somebody catches them, the family would not allow them to go out of home.

These days nobody is much concerned about what others think about them and so the dating is much more interesting and enjoyable these days.
 
Its a big world. And I think this will vary greatly from country to country and by various demographics.

The biggest reason sex is what it is is because parents are afraid or don't know how to discuss it with their children. Leaving it to the church or the school is ludicrous, but a reality for many....and if the church or the school says anything to kids there are very vocal parents which will object...that this should be discussed in the home....and then don't.

That being said, in any environment, there are the promiscuous, and those that grow up 'waiting' and everything in between. It was more than 20 years ago for me, the early 70's that I learned about sex, drugs, driving, alcohol ... and all I can say that is too much in such a short period...we as a society should do something to spread that out a little.
 
I have no idea what dating was like 20 years ago. I was only a kid then.:eek:

I may have been a kid in a past life but I cannot remember. Today others insult me by alluding to a close resemblance to humans. Oh the shame.

the one thing I learnt from all this is that we now live in a very sex and intimacy-obsessed society.

The various societal overlays that have been constructed to over ride nature are frustratingly human. All to easy they forget that the greatest aspect of creativity is their own ability to delude themselves, silly humans.

Marriage is seen as the gateway to intimacy and fulfillment.

Oops, those who fail to learn from history...
Historically, and even to this day, the institution of "Formal Marriage" has been used primarily as a conflict resolution/prevention methodology. Other aspects of the "Formal Marriage" include power consolidation and transference or the establishment of a clearly defined line of inheritance of power/privilege and/or property/assets, etc.

"Intimacy" was a condition of these Formal Marriages in that the True Heir to the line of succession(inheritance) of power and/or property was the result of the "issue" of the "consummation" of the parties thus "joined" (aka first born) of that "Formal Marriage." The Social contract of these Formal Marriages was between multiple parties.

The party of "Family A," the party of "Family B," through the offices of a singular representative from each of the Principal Families "A" and "B." These officers one male, one female, joined in Union to produce, and be Stewards of, their offspring who would inherit the combined power and assets put forth by Families A+B. The last of the parties in this arrangement of Formal Marriage were the "combined subject-witnesses," in the case of royal succession, or the "State" in lesser arrangements.

"Fulfillment" of a desire for an advancement in one's position and/or wealth was then achieved, individually or on the familial level, through the expedient of Formal Marriage.
 
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