You are not like everyone else.
If I loved you as if you were me... I might say, do or give you things that would not mean love to you.
Real love is based on understanding, which takes time & work.
What is important is that these things are done in love, whether the other can accept that expression or not is irrelevant. Never allow your love to be dependent on the other, simply continue sharing it with no regard for its outcome. Gradually, you will find that love returns to you many times more than what you have put out, you will find it difficult to continue being miserly with it. It is not like money, where the more you spend the less you have, it is utterly opposite to this, it is that the more you put out the more you receive - this is a law.
I agree that love is based on an understanding, but understanding of what? Ordinarily, the concepts of love people have are utterly false, you will have to know what the real thing is, that love which is not directed or focused on the other but rather grows in you. It is strange that all are seeking love, yet they have never created it within themselves - now they will go into marriage thinking this one has love, and both are thinking the same, but in reality both find they have been tricked and thus divorce happens.
If I understand you correctly, I agree with you, that humanity is in us all. So, every person expresses potential we have.
And when we overreact, like when someone "pushes our buttons" - it's often because they reminded us of an aspect of our humanity that we don't like. Of course, there are times when anger is justified... IE: Martin Luther King Jr. had a good reason for his anger & expressed it in productive ways.
The Bible states that God is within us all, and I agree with this. Realizing this, encountering that part within us which is God brings us to the peak of human potential: 'know ye not that ye are divine?'
What is the nature of 'pushing our buttons'? It means the ego has felt it is being threatened in some way. That which is your true self can look upon this reaction and analyze it utterly detached, it can see the foolishness of this response. Usually it only observes after the fact though, because most remain slaves to the mind, they react entirely on the thought without looking first at its validity.
For me, anger is never justified, MLK has actually shown this is superb ways, he has remained utterly level headed and focused on his target exactly because he has not reacted with anger. The Black Panthers were diametrically opposite, their every deed seemed to be based in anger, and they have accomplished comparatively little.
In practical, ever-day dealings with others... there must be boundaries, though, Lunitik. I can realize that we are all of the same essence, & part of the same body, as you mentioned... while still asserting what is best for me when others try to impose what they think is best for them infringing on what's best for me.
This is the trouble, the self enjoys the illusion of privacy, and thus puts up boundaries. Certainly, you must always act on what you feel is the best course in a given moment, but again I will draw on the Bible as an example, for it says God watches your every action and thought - again I agree with the statement - but then what meaning can privacy really have?
No, hiding things from those around you merely creates a burden on your heart, this is why we have psychologists and the like - they are essentially professional listeners, their sole purpose being to provide an outlet for all that you have bottled up trying to remain private.
