I have feeling ligthwithin you are spiritual person and I have special abilities of talking to people and how they react and realize you have other things you had happen it is clear you are not complete. You have not find the mission you have said the life of a normal person not trying to intrude and what you told now I know you are looking for something in life.
As a counselor, I hear a lot about people asking the same kinds of questions, what life would be like if this or that had been different.
Some people even speculate about time machines that will let them go back and correct mistakes.
There was a Canadian TV show about 20 years ago called "Being Erica" which was about someone whose therapist could magically send them back in time so they could have "do-overs" (People sometimes wish or even seem to think I can do that!)


I think I originally learned about the show from a client. (I don't recall if the show ever explained how their premise worked, it was not quite science fiction or fantasy or magic. They did have some spiritual overtones in the show, the main character was Jewish and her father was a rabbi) I don't recall if the premise of the show was supposed to reflect something spiritually serious like Kabbalah or just modern fantasy dramatic storytelling.
Ideas like this are popular because:
Many people want things like this, the chance to right wrongs, some for far more serious reasons than others.
I hear about it a lot in my work as a counselor. Some times more than others.
Many think the chance at do-overs would be wonderful and they want to know where to sign up.
Others say something like "Heavens to Betsy what a dreadful idea!"
No matter what attitude you take, if things were different, they wouldn't be the same.
Being grounded in reality and having an attitude of gratitude -it's what I advise clients, while knowing it is sometimes easier said than done. For some far more so than for others.
But to bring this back around to the topic of freewill, being able to change the past SEEMS as if it would be the ultimate expression of free will, right? Except that it would not be exactly that, it would be some kind of wish fulfillment, which is not the same thing as free will. I think some people fail to believe in free will because they have it mixed up with wish fulfillment or something.
In the TV show I referenced, the wish fulfillment part of the story sometimes leads to something going wrong. And there's a lesson in it.
To actually change the past would also be to impose one's will on others, and undo their choices.
But some people really do get stuck in the past, and find it hard to deal with today.
For some people, that is what they are in counseling to deal with.
So naturally I think about these questions fairly often from many angles.