Please pray for me.

[iBrian]

Ok path, don't know if you've heard this before, but maybe worth repasting this short poem by Mary Stevenson anyway:

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from anguish,
sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”
The Lord replied,
“The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you.”

 

[Quahom1]

Ok path, don't know if you've heard this before, but maybe worth repasting this short poem by Mary Stevenson anyway:

Oh man, that is in my office, and on my wall at home...nice Brian.

v/r

Q

 

[lunamoth]

Dear Path,

You've been on my mind all day, and you've been in my prayers all day. I know it's probably hard to do even the normal things right now, but as you say it is all part of a new day and a new transformation. Here's a bit of a Psalm and a prayer I especially like.

I waited patiently upon the LORD; he stooped to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the desolate pit, out of the mire and clay, he set my feet upon a high cliff and made my footing sure.

He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; many shall see, and stand in awe, and put their trust in the LORD. (Psalm 40:1-3)

O God of peace, who hast taught us that in returning and rest we shall be saved, in quietness and in confidence shall be our strength: By the might of thy Spirit lift us, we pray thee, to thy presence, where we may be still and know that thou are God; through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen. (BCP p. 832)

In the short time I've been able to get to know you from your writings here at CR I've come to know you as an amazingly clear-headed and strong person and I know these gifts will help you through this challenge. That which does not kill us makes us stronger . You have fire in your soul and the Spirit in your heart. You'll be alright. As Truthseeker said, let yourself roll through the emotions that are to come, feel them and live through them, lean on God and lean on your friends, including those of us here.

In His Peace,
lunamoth

 

[Quahom1]

Allow yourself to be shocked, then ANGRY. That is first and foremost. Then acknowledge that you are in denial, then understand your need to strike a deal (comprimise), finally acceptance. But realize that you will jump to any stage over and over again, until everything settles down.

That is the reality of loss. I speak the truth. But then friends come in to fill the gap a bit. That is also the truth.

Tell me, what would you have your friends pray? What is best for you? What might prevent this situation? Take this cup from you? How about...

"May the Good Lord Hold you both in the palm of His hand."

It is so hard, I know, and suspect others do too. No one can fix it. God fixes issues...not decisions between two people.

I truly am sorry for your loss.

v/r

Q

 

[path_of_one]

Thank you all for your prayers and support.

Q, yes, I pretty much just want people to pray for God's will to be done in my husband and I's lives, that He holds us in His mighty hand, and that come what may we both receive peace, acceptance, and joy for the journey.

I am open to where ever God sends me at this point, and I can only pray His will is revealed in my life.

Peace to you all, and my deepest thanks,
Path

 

[17th Angel]

Kim my sister, how we doing present day?

 

[path_of_one]

Alex, how you ever found this today of all days is a mystery to me. Do you have a little psychic gift there, or was it all one of those great moments of synchronicity?

My husband and I, back in 2005, separated and nearly divorced. It made us both stronger, different... we grew up in a way I don't think we ever would have without that pain, the time apart. Losing "us" caused each of us to find ourselves.

And then, after we each learned to lean on God by ourselves, we were given "us" back.

It has been the greatest miracle of my life, and about the hardest thing I have ever done- losing my marriage, and then falling back in love and climbing back into it. It required immense forgiveness on both of our parts and a lot of change. But, oh... it is a great joy. Somehow the people we became by fully realizing ourselves, by becoming independent from each other, came to find that they loved each other all the more.

As for today... this is the day before my tenth wedding anniversary. Ten years ago, I promised to love and cherish my husband for life. Somehow, God saw that promise through even we could not. The only explanation I have is our willingness to rest in God's hands, and God's willingness to let grace do what we could not.

(And somehow, I still ended up in the Northwest with my trees and greenery, and feeling so much better without the smog... God really does take care of it all!)

Thank you, Alex... Reminding me of this is a great gift.

Love to you, my brother-- you certainly shared it with me today,
Kim

 

[17th Angel]

Alex, how you ever found this today of all days is a mystery to me. Do you have a little psychic gift there, or was it all one of those great moments of synchronicity?

If I am honest I had such a strong feeling of needing to ask that question.

My husband and I, back in 2005, separated and nearly divorced. It made us both stronger, different... we grew up in a way I don't think we ever would have without that pain, the time apart. Losing "us" caused each of us to find ourselves.

That is freaking awesome, congratulations.... You've lived learned and through the experiences grown in many ways and one of those strength and another love? I am happy for you.

And then, after we each learned to lean on God by ourselves, we were given "us" back.

It has been the greatest miracle of my life, and about the hardest thing I have ever done- losing my marriage, and then falling back in love and climbing back into it. It required immense forgiveness on both of our parts and a lot of change. But, oh... it is a great joy. Somehow the people we became by full realizing ourselves, by becoming independent from each other, came to find that they loved each other all the more.

I envy you lol........

It has been the greatest miracle of my life, and about the hardest thing I have ever done

I had to see that again!

It has been the greatest miracle of my life

Just once more! lol..

You have made my day.

 

[path_of_one]

I'm glad to have made your day; you certainly made mine! Glad you thought to ask the question... I can count it as a wonderful synchronicity- a little anniversary gift from God and you.

I don't know that I'd envy what we went through. We're both emotional, passionate, really intense people. I can say for myself that I felt like I was dying and just totally breaking apart, then God gave me strength and forgiveness, but I was really cold for quite some time emotionally after the separation. It was like a switch was turned off and it was a long haul until God managed to turn it back on. I was, for a while, me but not me with him, if that makes sense. Now I'm me, but a better version of me, with him and in general. I daresay, from what I understand, my husband faced a similar trajectory, except that he hit the coldness phase before me and that is why he asked for a divorce, and then he fell back in love with me and had to wait while I caught up to him. I realize lots of people get divorces, and maybe everyone feels that way. But don't think I could have borne it without God.

Yet, despite how awful it was, I wouldn't do it differently. Somehow I needed it, I guess. I found that suffering can produce a lot of good things if I lean on God through it and am willing to be changed.

That's one of the real miracles of all life, I think-- that often, what is the most difficult, the most harrowing, the darkest night becomes what is most beautiful, the brightest sunrise. If we let it, everything leads to life and love no matter how distant we feel from it.

Marriage will never be quiet or exactly easy for me, LOL. Lots of people who know us always say how lucky we are, and I do feel blessed. But we're both artistic and kind of fiery personalities so any emotion runs really deep- happiness is very very happy, and grief or anger or hurt is very very worrisome. We learned, in part, to just know that the bad times don't last long if we don't hold on to them and as long as we are dedicated to actively loving each other- showing love. We used to think everything had to be perfect, and then exhaust ourselves with guilt and frustration trying to make it so. Now we honor that we love each other crazily and always will, that we understand some deep part of each other that no one else does, that's wrapped up with our spirits and the gorgeousness and pain of life... but we'll still sometimes get annoyed that we do, well, annoying things and we'll still sometimes lose our tempers, be rude or selfish. LOL

I think it's as good as it gets! It gets better over time, in part because we increasingly strive to hold on to the love, the beauty, the sense of unity in spirit... and to let go of the rest.

 

[17th Angel]

I'm glad to have made your day; you certainly made mine! Glad you thought to ask the question... I can count it as a wonderful synchronicity- a little anniversary gift from God and you.

*offers a party hat*

I don't know that I'd envy what we went through.

It was like a switch was turned off and it was a long haul until God managed to turn it back on. I was, for a while, me but not me with him, if that makes sense.

Yet, despite how awful it was, I wouldn't do it differently.

I didn't exactly mean envy, I mean like appreciate your experience it is quite a lesson.... But yes you admit it was hard and you also admit you'd do it again, for Love right? You've learnt you got a good bond! Seriously, and from this it has also beome stronger ten fold. I guess we all learn Love is an amazing thing, but there are times it is hard and there is sadness because we are aware of the lack of Love.... But the loss we can lose from not trying to love is a greater loss than loving and losing it.. So can see what I mean?

Now we honor that we love each other crazily and always will, that we understand some deep part of each other that no one else does, that's wrapped up with our spirits and the gorgeousness and pain of life... but we'll still sometimes get annoyed that we do, well, annoying things and we'll still sometimes lose our tempers, be rude or selfish. LOL .

Hey who told you the path would be straight, clear and easy.... We have our slips, loss of sense of direction, confusion, anger.. It is how we deal with them, that will determine if we make it all the way...

I think it's as good as it gets! It gets better over time, in part because we increasingly strive to hold on to the love, the beauty, the sense of unity in spirit... and to let go of the rest.

Ameen!

 

[path_of_one]

*offers a party hat*

Accepts said hat, and hands over a noise-maker!

I didn't exactly mean envy, I mean like appreciate your experience it is quite a lesson.... But yes you admit it was hard and you also admit you'd do it again, for Love right? You've learnt you got a good bond! Seriously, and from this it has also beome stronger ten fold. I guess we all learn Love is an amazing thing, but there are times it is hard and there is sadness because we are aware of the lack of Love.... But the loss we can lose from not trying to love is a greater loss than to never try... So can see what I mean?

Oh, yes, I understand now. You didn't strike me as the overly romantic type that glamourizes the rough spots, but one never knows! I've had a few women insist that they would just love such a romantic story. There are romantic spots and rough spots, but I find no use in making the rough spots sound romantic!

And yes, I would do it again for love. Even at the time, I never wanted to erase the love because of the pain. I've always been kind of in love with love, if you know what I mean. Not in the sappy champagne and chocolate way, but more like the deep, spiritual, soul-wrenching way. Sincere and profound love of any type is just the most beautiful thing on earth, whether I see it in husband/wife, parent/child, friends, strangers, or the earth herself.

Hey who told you the path would be straight, clear and easy....

Eh, I should have known after seeing most of my family divorce as a kid, but hey, Cinderella is a great story! It's hard to resist that "happily ever after" goal... "lovingly ever after" is something a bit different!

 

[17th Angel]

Accepts said hat, and hands over a noise-maker! !

Party over here!!

but I find no use in making the rough spots sound romantic!

ORLY?

And yes, I would do it again for love. Even at the time, I never wanted to erase the love because of the pain.

Well you made that sound really special... I'd see a lesson in that romantic rough spot... So I dunno, maybe there is some use?

Eh, I should have known after seeing most of my family divorce as a kid, but hey, Cinderella is a great story! It's hard to resist that "happily ever after" goal... "lovingly ever after" is something a bit different!

What we talking about! The past mistakes of our Kin doesn't set our fate... Look at you back with Mr Hubby.... You've shown the lovingly ever after ending can happen...

 

[Pico]

Mods, feel free to move this if you feel another forum would be more suitable. I didn't know where to post.

I know a lot of you don't agree with me on theological points, but I also know we are all in the body of Christ and that you all love Jesus and God as I do. I know you all believe in the power of prayer as I do.

I'm facing an enormous amount of pain right now and the only strength and comfort I have is Jesus. I am utterly exhausted emotionally and it is only my spiritual life that is keeping me going at this point. I know without a doubt God has a plan for me in all this and that Christ will be my rock, my protector, my healer, and my friend. I also know I will never be the same person when the storm subsides, and honestly, I'm struggling to accept what I've been dealt.

Please keep me in your prayers- not that my life gets better, but that my faith grows stronger. That God's will is done and that I can come to a place of peace and acceptance. My life has ever been in Christ's hands, and no matter how much I hurt, the Bible promises me it is not more than God will help me bear. I want with all my heart and soul to let go and just come to peace in all this, but I'm really struggling, so I ask all of you for your help.

This virtual place to discuss with others the deepest part of who I am has been an incredible blessing. I'll be around, but I may mostly take a break for a couple weeks. I'll be reading stuff, but I probably won't post much for a little while.

Peace to all and thank you,
Kim

Hey, i haven't read a work past what I've quoted here from your post, but one thing I know is that God wants us to rely on him for everything. And the sufferings we endure help teach us how to. They also show us how God will care for us even though it might be hanging by a thread.

I will pray for you. And they will be answered

P.S. And as the Bible says, we suffer so we can comfort others who suffer. God has plans for you yet

 

[flowperson]

Path and AP:

Thanks for picking this thread up and for provoding such fascinating and gratifying reading. Path you have crammed fifty years or so of spiritual experiences into a ten year period. I am so happy for you and your husband.

It is such a variable thing. Here as a child I never saw the ugliness of divorce, and my two have seen it twice. But my two marriages turned out to be irreconcilable after 17 and 14 years respectively. I seemed to grow and neither of them did, and they both had to be over or I was in perilous danger of losing my self, the greatest tragedy in life.

Both of you carry on and take care. We are all brothers and sisters and require each other's support and love.

BTW I once had a very wise pastor and friend who told me when I was going through the first horrible realizations that there are two kinds of marriages. The first and best are those based upon "agape" forms of love. That sort of love in which both parties would have no qualms in giving up their life for their partner. All the rest are business arrangements. Unfortunately I got stuck in the latter category, twice despite my best efforts.

flow....

 

[17th Angel]

Oh flow Sorry to hear that... But, hey you're smiling! It takes strength in all sorts of situations. And flow... Your only just starting your jurney man The woman who is right for you could come along any time you know?

-Sorry keyboard is trying to make jokes... Those typos were all the keyboards fault-

 

[path_of_one]

BTW I once had a very wise pastor and friend who told me when I was going through the first horrible realizations that there are two kinds of marriages. The first and best are those based upon "agape" forms of love. That sort of love in which both parties would have no qualms in giving up their life for their partner. All the rest are business arrangements. Unfortunately I got stuck in the latter category, twice despite my best efforts.

flow....

Happy anniversary to me... Hubby is still sleeping... he's not an early riser...

It is a completely gorgeous blue-sky day! Time for hiking in the mountains!

Flow... I feel for you completely, because I saw the same thing happen with much of my family.

I think the really hard part is that both people have to be willing to love with that unselfish agape love. It's hard to do, because you're also sharing every moment and your most intimate self with your spouse. You have to work out problems ranging from the Big Ones like having kids, balancing career, and so forth with all the mundane but stressful stuff like paying bills. Plain and simple, it's really hard to live with someone 24/7 and still be in love. It takes a lot of work, not necessarily on the relationship, but on oneself. And both people have to be willing to do it, or it doesn't work.

We went to counseling for a little while after our separation, but to be honest, it was not helpful. Except that we often came away laughing at the oddness of counseling, which might have been helpful and bonding but not exactly what the counselor had in mind. What I found is that we didn't have to work that hard on the marriage. It wasn't the marriage that was the problem, really. It was each of us, with our selfish desires, and our fears, and our insecurities. Much of what we had given up and sacrificed was, in fact, done out of insecurity (I want him to keep loving me) or fear (what if he doesn't like me as I am?) or selfishness (surely, if I do this, he'll do that). But that is the wrong way to approach giving and we became exhausted and worried and distant.

What I found out is if you give from the right place, you are able to recognize your own needs without being selfish. You're able to give what you can give without giving up yourself. And you're not afraid or insecure; you don't wonder if it is enough.

 

[17th Angel]

I am Loving this feeling we've got going on here...

 

[Tao_Equus]

Hi Flow,

Just came across this thread and wish to say I'm with you buddy. Wish we were even in the same country so we could take in a beer and maybe feed republicans to them there gators. Know one knows better than you that nothing stays the same. I know that you will see this as an opportunity not a closed door. And if all else fails you can just start bouncing!! Works for me every time!!

YouTube - I Like Bouncing-Not the Nine O'clock News


Sorry quality is poor but still worth it

 

[Tao_Equus]

Path, Happy anniversary

 

[flowperson]

Ty Tao...and you can be sure that if I ever get across the pond to visit yer digs, you are first on my list. I'm a bit of a geezer, but I can still bounce pretty well. Just another old school R&B guy I guess. One of my favorite films is The Committments.

As a side issue perhaps the most disturbing coincidence regarding the ending of my second marriage was that the proclamation went before the judge and was ruled upon on the morning of 9/11/2001.

flow....