Looking for answers and need something to believe in

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needsomething

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I'm an agnostic who used to be a hardcore atheist, but I find myself battling believing in something more and more each day. I guess it all has to do with problems in life mounting and searching for answers. Although I think of myself as a man of reason, I keep wondering if the continual problems I experience in my life (all my life, in fact) are due to some sort of curse or bad luck. Part of me laughs at the notion, but surprisingly, part of me wonders if it's possible. I'm just lost right now. Severely depressed, life crumbling around me. All that I've worked for falling part. Love life suffering tremendously. I need something to keep me from giving up. I'm close.

I don't expect anyone here to save me or give me the answers. I guess I just want to hear from people who are going through or have gone through this before. I need the kind of comfort that no one in my life right now can provide.
 
hiya, i don't think there are answers, psychologically speaking, only understanding problems. people get so consumed with the solution that the cause is almost irrelevant. when something is painful emotionally we might escape into beliefs and notions or practises because we wish to distance ourself from the source of frustration. i once read something like that if one can meet pain head on with no resistance and be open to knowing it intimately then in that flame of attention and care, it evaporates without needing to "acted" upon. it is conflict that is important not happyness, happyness is the ideal, conflict is the fact.

escape is the problem, wish i could realise my thoughts, drowning in the soup too, i spose in all honesty i dunno what to do but i have a feeling that i might know what not to, like being attached to a person, looking for a belief. i have a rather difficult illness that has basically kept me in the room i'm typing this in now for the 8-9 years with barely any human contact apart from online, so i have an idea about loss, but its been so much for so long that its now normality almost, i'm not trying to compete in the sorrow leagues as everyones pain is 100% felt to them so its relative but it has a purpose i believe, though its easy to philosophise but the pain is still there, but it does break the shell and reveal ones inner workings and hopefully the causes of ones predicament and hence healing, no giving up no matter what, peace to you

think my post is pretty silly but i'll leave it up,
 
Hi Needsomething. Welcome to IO.

Exercise can sometimes help depression. A regular walk through the park might give you opportunities to meet new people. (Hope this helps)
 
Hi needsomething, thanks for posting. I'm also agnostic and also consider myself a man of reason. I think it's great that you are questioning your beliefs and searching for answers, I hope you embrace this opportunity for self-discovery and encourage you to keep an open mind.

I will agree that being an agnostic/atheist can be a tough row to hoe when the chips are down. As you know, agnosticism doesn't offer any silver bullets, cure-alls, or one-size-fits-all solutions to life. There's no one book to read that will solve all of life's problems. It is a path of questioning and discovery. Personally, in 20 years of agnosticism and searching for truth I'm starting to think there is no destination; I am learning more and more to embrace the journey (a la El Dorado) and also to embrace the unknowable.

When life throws me some tough times, I like to put things into perspective by trying to see the bigger picture. Go out tonight and look up at that beautiful, full moon. Humans have been pondering that same moon for 200,000 years. You might even get lucky and see a meteor from the Perseids meteor shower that peaks in mid-August. Look past the moon at all the stars/galaxies in the sky. The light from many of those stars/galaxies has been traveling towards us for millions of years. We are literally looking into millions of years of history when we gaze into the heavens. Our lifespan is literally the blink of an eye when compared to 13 billion years of cosmic time. Our problems, while real and important to us, really don't matter in the big-picture scheme of things. However, your life's contributions, even the "little stuff" can have a great impact on the ones you love and can affect the world in a positive way for many generations to come. Keep your head up and stay positive but keep it all in perspective.

I also like the Dalai Lama's philosophy of helping our fellow man to increase our own happiness. Somehow my problems in life seem small when I am busy volunteering for a local cause or helping a friend, relative, or community member in need. Even a small, simple act of kindness - holding the door open for a stranger, sharing garden veggies with a neighbor, or donating some extra clothes to goodwill - puts a smile on my face and motivates me to look for other ways to help out my fellow man. It's a positive self-reinforcing cycle that can build upon itself if you just get it started.

Keep things in perspective, spend some time helping those less fortunate, keep a "glass half-full" attitude in the brief existence we have on this planet, and embrace your search for answers; a few thoughts from a fellow agnostic. Thanks for listening, I'll get off my soap box now :)

Pura vida,
Iowa Guy
 
Needsomething,

Believe me, I know what you are going through. A lot of us are plodding through life, just trying to get through all of this.

I am a firm believer in karma, and I'm wondering if karma has a place in your belief system. According to karma, all of this suffering that we are going through has a meaning. If karma really 'happens,' then we are making progress just by getting through any bad karma that we successfully burn off (and creating a minimum of new bad karma in the process).

How does that sound to you?

I would also like to echo IowaGuy's sentiments. Sometimes the best way to forget our probelms for just a little while is to put that all aside and do something nice for someone else. I want you to try an experiment: make a sandwich and go out and give it to a homeless person. Then come back and tell us what your experience was like.
 
Thanks very much for the answers. I've read every one, and each person has given me some comfort just by replying. Thank you folks, I feel a lot better. But this is one of those things that just needs time, I guess.
 
Namaste NeedSomething....

Welcome to IO,

I'm hoping you find solace, and what you seek. Big hugz.

I'd suggest you read thru a number of threads here, and what folks have written, if anything resonates with you, PM them, or if you can figure out their belief, find a local church or synagogue or temple of that faith and see if you can find something there to hold onto as you seek.

The walk...great idea....deep breathing....another good thought.

A mantra I have....

I don't remember wanting this lesson, I don't remember standing in line and signing up for this class, I don't remember asking to be in this class right now....but I do want to learn the lesson, I do want to complete the course and pass it, as I don't want to have to retake it in the future.

Go for the passing grade....and know....my response is also the same for the boy that swallowed the quarter....time heals all, and this to shall pass.

One other thought, we may not be able to change the situation...but we can change our perspective.

and lastly....contemplate how some of your most embarassing moments, the ones you wished no one would ever know, that many of your most trying times, struggles you thought you'd never make it through, become after 5, 10 years some of your favorite stories, favorite anecdotes to teach others....so I can't wait to see the good you find in this situation, and also consider...if you are gonna laugh about it later, you may as well laugh about it now.

peace and blessings...


IowaGuy said:
I will agree that being an agnostic/atheist can be a tough row to hoe when the chips are down. As you know, agnosticism doesn't offer any silver bullets, cure-alls, or one-size-fits-all solutions to life.
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this is quite interesting.....

It is often the atheist that grills the believer, 'but what about all the evil in the world what is your G!d doing about that...'

Now I have no issues with Atheists as long as they aren't in my face and trying to convert me...and I think they typically ask the same....but some are incensed by seeing a cross here or there, or under G!d on their coins...

But back to the thought. Thank you for expressing it...It just never dawned on me.
 
Hello needsomething,

Been there and done done that and even had a T-shirt made up of it. Failed at school, went back later. Failed at marriage, got on that horse again. Failed in the Air Force (had to retire as Captain), now trying something totally different. Failed with my finances (still have yet to buy first house at 60+), trying to close on a lease to own. Failed with second marriage (attacked my bride last Oct, was arrested, hospitalized, and found not-guilt-due-to-temporary-insanity) and we are trying to patch up. The son of a Jewess and a Catholic, they compromised and brought me up Methodist, din't take. Been to nearly every Christian and Jewish and Islamic faith (Sufism, Bahai and Sikh I consider Islamic spin-offs). Have been (still am?) a hard-core atheist and a softer-core agnostic.

Did I ever find anything? Look up "liberal Quakers" on the web (actually non-programmed, non-evangelical Quakers). Thegroup near-by has helped me. We have Wiccans and Buddhists and Jews and atheists who all attend. See, no real creed (or as I call it Dogma).

Quakers were founded by George Fox, who when he was real depressed heard Christ speak to him " "There is one, even Christ Jesus, that can speak to thy condition". His central teaching is "Christ has come to teach his people himself " and "that of G!d in everyone" (related terms are Inner Light include Light of God, Light of Christ, Christ within, Spirit of God within us, and Light within).

The comunity worships in silence and anyone can minister when the Spirit Moves. A kind of group meditation.

Just a suggestion.

Peace and love will conquer all--Radarmark
 
Seeking is a sign of evolution needsomething, not a sign of failure. There is a reason that prefrontal lobe came to us - finally we could see that we are not our bodies, nor the survival of it, either.

My best advice is you have a wonderful resource here - Interfaith is by far the superior forum for new seekers - just hang on to that critical thinking, and don't jump on the first thing that resonates...the truth usually lies somewhere in between all beliefs - that is the beauty of it...it means we have to interact with all kinds of folks to find puzzle pieces.

If you need real time interaction may I suggest a chat room community such as PalTalk so that you can commune with other seekers out there - there are some good spiritual/religious rooms there that can be an interesting place to start your explorations.

Hang in there and welcome to the world of evolved seekers...the rest of humanity is mired in the mundane - that means you have on some level recognized that that is not why you are here. Enter this new phase of your life with the wonder of a child, and the discernment of a man who knows hard knocks of life. Best wishes...
 
Life is hard for everyone. At some point most of us have to entertain thoughts about an afterlife and what might be. Science and skepticism isn't very fulfilling when we need to find meaning but trying to placate a God who sits on top of the pyramid of creation is kind of hard to do as well. The best way to go is to try and be an optimist and see the merit in living as well as possible today, hoping that something more awaits you. But getting obsessed with belief (as so many people are) can be a self contained game that perpetuates arguments about "God is like this. Enlightenment is that." Read about beliefs and you can see that we're all guessing and settling on our best guess when it comes to our own fulfillment. But there's no shame in that as long as we don't take beliefs so far that we think we have to convince everyone (and ourselves) that it is undeniable fact.
 
I think it is healthier to believe in someone than it is to believe in something.
 
needsomething said:
I'm an agnostic who used to be a hardcore atheist, but I find myself battling believing in something more and more each day. I guess it all has to do with problems in life mounting and searching for answers. Although I think of myself as a man of reason, I keep wondering if the continual problems I experience in my life (all my life, in fact) are due to some sort of curse or bad luck. Part of me laughs at the notion, but surprisingly, part of me wonders if it's possible. I'm just lost right now. Severely depressed, life crumbling around me. All that I've worked for falling part. Love life suffering tremendously. I need something to keep me from giving up. I'm close.

I don't expect anyone here to save me or give me the answers. I guess I just want to hear from people who are going through or have gone through this before. I need the kind of comfort that no one in my life right now can provide.
Click to expand...

I find this song to be extremely inspirational. Believe in yourself, needsomething. There is strength to be found in your struggle. Find it and embrace it is my only advice. We all have our own paths to follow and you will find yours.


[youtube]UabGi_jZRPM[/youtube]
 
Hi. I'm agnostic as well. The thing about belief is that it's just something you decide to do. I guess the pay off is a sense that there is an element of cosmic control and overall meaning to things. On the other hand, the thing I like about being belief-less is that it keeps all the crappy stuff that just happens random. There's no overarching reason, no god to please or devil to appease, no sense of karma or fate; just rotten luck that can change any time.

Chris
 
I think if you are talking someone, like a relationship...I can buy it.

If you are talking someone, like a guru or a pope, I'm not there.

Not that I mind teachers and mentors....but I'm gonna drop them like a hot potato if they don't resonate.

Of course with something...I'll always reserve the right to change my words based on receipt of new validated information.
 
wil said:
I think if you are talking someone, like a relationship...I can buy it.

If you are talking someone, like a guru or a pope, I'm not there.

Not that I mind teachers and mentors....but I'm gonna drop them like a hot potato if they don't resonate.

Of course with something...I'll always reserve the right to change my words based on receipt of new validated information.
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Why not popes , gurus, scientists ect all have truths about what should and shouldnt be done, I believe since the catholic pope is leader of vatican city which by the way is its OWN country he should have a seat., What about an islamic state? They have seats.
 
donnann said:
Why not popes , gurus, scientists ect all have truths about what should and shouldnt be done, I believe since the catholic pope is leader of vatican city which by the way is its OWN country he should have a seat., What about an islamic state? They have seats.
Click to expand...
Because at any moment they could need more money for their new Rolls, or try to cover up the illicit relationship they got involved in, or decide to start mixing koolaid... I will weigh my thoughts over theirs any day, and not walk thru the gate to the lions.

I'll put my faith not in someone and their potential for whimsey but in my own belief of the accumilation of my life experience and understanding....and listen to that still small voice within for fine tuned direction.
 
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