Jokes, jokes, and more jokes ...

[Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine]

<puts on steel underwear and Kevlar vest> Hmmmm....I could use a new loofah!

Better add a pair of welders' gloves (unless you don't care what happens to your hands/arms...)

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

 

[wil]

Trump, Obama and Carter riding on AF1 to a conference... obviously the plane goes down (they always do) G!d says to Carter...you've done a lot of good since you left that office...I'd like you here at my right hand. And to Obama he says, you got out of that recession, and health care, what you do to the least of me is big thing...you can sit at my right hand. Now Mr. Trump, where is it you think you should be with what you have done?

"I believe you are in my chair"

 

[Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine]

It will be easier to post a link to the broadcast (just listen to/read Roxanne Roberts' response) :http://wuwm.com/post/prediction-168

Don't say that I didn't warn you...

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

 

[Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine]

Alas, a "photo dump" (easier than trying to explain them.) They're of :kitty's!

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

 

[Namaste Jesus]

2 preachers are arguing over differing beliefs. Finally, one says to the other, "Tell you what. You believe the way you want to believe, I'll believe the way I want to believe and we'll compare notes in the great hereafter. Agreed?" "Fine," says his adversary. "You can either shout up to me or I'll holler down to you!"

 

[Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine]

A tune that might elicit a chuckle:

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

 

[Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine]

https://m.imgur.com/3EgVT0T

It's ironic that the Church of Satan wants nothing to do with the PtBs in Washington, DC.

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

 

[Namaste Jesus]

A man goes to the mall and buys an inexpensive suitcase from one of the shops. On his way out of the mall, he goes into another shop and asks the clerk, "Do you carry cheap suitcases like this one?" "Why yes we do," replies the clerk. "Great," says the man. "Carry this one out to my car."

 

[Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine]

From The New Yorker: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/now-hiring-not-you
I cannot tell you how many times this has happened to me...

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

 

[Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine]

From Tumblr: http://seananmcguire.tumblr.com/post/164972472430/mom-adopts-a-dog

The misspellings are all the original poster's. Oh, and this reminded me of 17th (he might've found this funny.)

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

 

[Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine]

Another list! https://spikesgirl58.livejournal.com/1942697.html

It's easier to post a link than to copy/paste the list.

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

 

[Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine]

doesn't give two fooks: http://mashable.com/2017/09/03/pissed-off-hurricane-harvey-cat-meme/#SXmL4Gc8msq1

I hope the marmalade has made it through the worst of it and found his/her staff (or new staff, if need be.)

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

 

[Aussie Thoughts]

Late one night, a teenage girl sneaks out in the family car to randevu with her boyfriend. They park in a secluded area, one thing leads to another and they end up... well, you know... right there in the car.

The next morning as the girl's father is leaving for work, he discovers remnants of their encounter on the front seat. Furious, he rushes back into the house to confront his daughter with the evidence.

"Just look at this! I know full well what you two were doing in my car last night! Where was your head girl?"

"Under the steering wheel dad."

 

[wil]

Chelsea gets back from her first year at college and Hillary inquires to whether she had sex yet...she responds, "Not according to Dad."

 

[Aussie Thoughts]

A poor spelling golfer named Lear,
was sentenced to 1 year,
for an action obscene,
near the 17th green,
where a club sign read- Enter Course Here​

 

[Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine]

A poor spelling golfer named Lear,
was sentenced to 1 year,
for an action obscene,
near the 17th green,
where a club sign read- Enter Course Here​

Two towns here in the US that I'm familiar with: Intercourse, Pennsylvania and Spread Eagle, Wisconsin.

I wish that I was kidding.

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

 

[Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine]

https://leesa-perrie.livejournal.com/646483.html

Anyone who is a servant will appreciate these.

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

 

[Namaste Jesus]

 

[Aussie Thoughts]

Hey, at least she took the ankle biter out of her carry-on...lol!

 

[wil]

I am judgemental about judgemental people.