I've been to a forum that was much worse than this. I got a warning from a moderator within a single posting, and was told I was flaming and insulting another person. It wasn't even meant to be a personal post. I said very little about that person.
But the thing is, it was just one post. It never developed into a conversation. The other guy never replied.
I haven't left. I'm still there. I don't post very often in that forum. It'd be wrong to say I don't have some discomfort when I post there now. But I don't feel like leaving.
That's the case of over-reacting moderators.
Then there's the case of moderators who allow people to aggressively and pettily attack other people's beliefs. What I find on such forums is people being unruly, undisciplined and uncivilised. They allow atheists, Christians and Muslims to say why their beliefs are better (and to be insulting) and put-down the other's. It's a war-zone. These moderators don't do their job properly.
I have found CR (now Interfaith Online) to have had both civility and reasonable moderators. It doesn't allow us to run amok with unruly posts and nor does it treat us like school-children. I think there's a good balance between the two.
I've been told off once or twice before, publically and not privately when I first signed up by Admin. Since then I've survived without another warning. I can't say that I always agree with what the moderators do, other than what "I, Brian" does. Brian used to do quite a bit of moderating. I don't see him doing that much now, but he used to do a lot of it and I liked his style.
Francis King has been here for quite a while, and she'll probably get away with it because of the fact that she's been here for a long time. I agree that the comment on the "penises" wasn't really appropriate, but I guess she was just angry. Maybe you should send her a PM about it.
There's nothing forcing you to leave. It's less likely for you to fit in if you leave and then come back with a different screen name. The moderators are probably a bit loose on people who have been here for a long time because we've got to know them.
But for now, have some patience. If you haven't been banned, just keep talking. Have you spoken to Brian Turner? I had a quick look at the "Right Speech vs. Politically Correct Speech" thread and Brian never said anything there. Never mind what the other moderators say. Don't take their word for it. This is Brian Turner's site. Only what Brian says is official. Until you and the rest of us hear from him, your concern about right speech isn't a done deal, so just wait.
If you're worried about "right speech," and hopefully I've got the concept right, but it seems that Tao already does that and if he's still here, there isn't that much stopping you from staying.