Hate

You blamed the cat for being chased. Therefore, you blame the target of aggression, not the aggressors. It's really that simple.

"When the cat doesn't run..."
"When the woman doesn't disobey..."
"When the woman doesn't dress provocatively..."

They're ultimately the same sentiment.
 
I dont know if I have posted this before but...if so, my apologies......(LOL)

I went to a different church meeting (for the experience) with a friend who is a member of this church. It was in a empty hall, that was used as a parttime dance studio, part time basketball arena. (just to give you a visual).
Two men stood up, one about 20 the other if I recall about 50, with bibles in hand they started to speak about the bible etc. Now, normally I would tune out, but what they said to me (and the congregation) really hit home.

They were talking abou the people that we HATE. They said something like.... "there are people out there that we hate. you may hate them cos they look different, cos they believe in a different god, or no god, cos they commit crimes, any reason. You may call them, rapists, extremeists, strangers, anything, you can hate anyone, for any reason, You know who they are, and why you hate them.......... but remember this.................. Jesus died on the cross for ALL of us, yes, for them too."

I found it unnerving that this was brought to light, I mean, I know he died on the cross for me, (and as I thought, for all the "good" people) but just then, My epiphany, was that he died for THEM too??!!!!

Just something to think about.
 
Snoopy said:
Unfortunately you're right. When love goes bad it can turn to hate. One of the three poisons (with greed and ignorance) that keep us in samsara.

But never mind that religious sh1t. :p

s.
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I'm not sure that true love can ever go bad much less turn to hate. I think the type of love that goes bad was never truly love in the first place, but perhaps some kind of lustful affection. Tares parading as wheat so to speak.

I think true love stands the test of time, even if it is a rare thing to possess. Most of us have some twisted desire to control and/or treat others as property. Very few allow those we "love" the freedom to be who they are after all.

True love (IMO) is only wanting the happiness of another, no matter if that means that we "lose" them as a result. If we truly love someone, then they would always be loved by us, and hate would be a non issue despite them "moving on".

Lust (Tares) and love (Wheat) look amazingly similar and even feel similar, but they are quite different in practice. We only come to hate when we have fear of loss in our hearts, which is why I think love itself casts out fear.

Our fears often turn to anger, and our anger turns to hate. Once we come to hate, our hate then turns into misery for both us and those we encounter.

Jesus hit the mark spot on when he told us to love one another, and he sealed his passion when he showed us what it takes. True love is unconditional; it is complete and impartial. There can be no hate where true love is present. If your love turns sour, then you have to ask yourself if it was truly love at all.

True love is a very rare blessing indeed, and I'm afraid that we will have the tares among us for a long time coming. :rolleyes:
 
Dream said:
As a lifelong Christian I grew up believing that hate is a sin, so I never hated anyone except through neglect or oversight. In other words, I loved everyone all over the world from childhood, and when I felt my heart getting noisy I noticed and did things to keep the engine running smooth. I even supported starving children through a charity for a few years (this actually had many personal benefits for me). My guard was up, so for many years I never knew what hate was: As an example I once was spit upon and I simply let it go without even getting angry, and I would walk away from offenses (or sometimes be sad over them). It was only this one offense that I let get to me during a time when my faith was gone (or in transition), and I decided that I hated someone that had deeply hurt a mutual friend of mine. Everything changed about me, and I think its that I had changed when I made that decision. I started remembering people I'd not seen for many years and hating them, too; and I became generally negative about the world. Funny how things can go bad so quickly. For a while I have been like a fireman in a burning house.
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Hey Dream,

I can so relate to this i felt the same way about hate i think i really only hated a couple people My guard was also up high but hung around the wrong people I only really hated prolly 3 people in my life! One was my Father! and 2 others that also hurt mutual friends of minel! Think I kinda changed tool! Yes i agree things can be taken away in an instant!

I was kinda in the same place as you it was aweful! Now I got some awesome friends even though there will always be 2 that i will always miss!!

I also had my Faith gone in alot of things too! If you miss your friends ya should tell them! :)

Life really is too short! ;)
 
As a lifelong Christian I grew up believing that hate is a sin, so I never hated anyone except through neglect or oversight. In other words, I loved everyone all over the world from childhood, and when I felt my heart getting noisy I noticed and did things to keep the engine running smooth. I even supported starving children through a charity for a few years (this actually had many personal benefits for me). My guard was up, so for many years I never knew what hate was: As an example I once was spit upon and I simply let it go without even getting angry, and I would walk away from offenses (or sometimes be sad over them). It was only this one offense that I let get to me during a time when my faith was gone (or in transition), and I decided that I hated someone that had deeply hurt a mutual friend of mine. Everything changed about me, and I think its that I had changed when I made that decision. I started remembering people I'd not seen for many years and hating them, too; and I became generally negative about the world. Funny how things can go bad so quickly. For a while I have been like a fireman in a burning house.
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Hey Dream,

I can so relate to this i felt the same way about hate i think i really only hated a couple people My guard was also up high but hung around the wrong people I only really hated prolly 3 people in my life! One was my Father! and 2 others that also hurt mutual friends of mine! Yes i agree things can be taken away in an instant! Life really isn't fair somedays is it? But i learned to moved on the best i could too!

I was kinda in the same place as you it was aweful! Now I got some awesome friends even though there will always be 2 that i will always miss!!

I also had my Faith gone in alot of things too! If you miss your friends ya should tell them! :)

Life really is too short! ;)
 
Dream said:
First hate is a lot like first love. I think that hate can't always be given direction and can not simply be turned off. Chemically it changes you.
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That is true Hate does change you and make you do or say things you normally wouldn't!

That is why people say it rots in your bones. Hate does not appear instantly either but has to cook for a while. When you hate someone, its actually a symptom of something that was already growing in you, like beans left out. It only takes a small offense to trigger it.
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Yes I agree once you have hate inside you a small thing can set ya off! I think once ya hate someone you always will! I tried making up with someone who hurt that friend of mine it didn't work! The Pain will always be there!

You might temporarily think that you hate someone, but actually you hate everything since it is a consuming emotion. Even long after you take action or after that distraction is gone, the hate is still there even without a target.
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Yes i agree cause it takes away our beliefs so we hate everything and everyone! But The thing that got me thru was realizing that people react differently to all situations and its usually the situation not the person!

The hate might always will be there but the action is not as intense it does fade away in time!

Forgiveness usually works! :D
 
Thanks, Comet. Yes, maybe that is a common experience we've got, and its nice to be able to talk about it using the same language. Its cool, because its actually a luxury. As I make the assumption that people are all basically the same, I think a lot of the people in the thread are actually trying to say the same things. For example, when I say hate I'm not just talking about anger; but some people might share the terms with each other more. To them, when I say hate they may not be thinking about the same thing, and we can have an entire conversation talking about the same experiences and reactions without realizing it.
 
Your welcome Dream! It is kinda cool how we have the same experience think alot of people do really we just don't realize that! ;)

As I make the assumption that people are all basically the same
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You can't go around assuming all people are the same while they are not! I used to go around assuming things too! I don't do that anymore that is a huge weight lifted off my shoulders! :D

I just changed my way of thinking to positive and things just kinda fell into place!! :)
 
Comet said:
Your welcome Dream! It is kinda cool how we have the same experience think alot of people do really we just don't realize that!
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We'll start our own web site and call it "Inter-Fate!" (dot com). Maybe people will like that.
 
Dragonseer said:
To answer your question, it is possible for the mother-child bond to not be a bond at all, but rather a one-sided system. In such a situation, the mother typically swings erratically between an outward show of love (for appearances sake) and a private expression of hostility (whenever she perceives her child as failing to meet her needs).
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It seems you are turning drawbacks from your past into a benefit. I think I have witnessed a family problem like the above mentioned for a short period of time as I have lived with various folks. Children naturally have both a need for love and a lot of love to give. A parent can help them unlock all of that love and show them how to put it to work, but that is not the only way.

We all sometimes have little cavities in ourselves where we are behaving like actors instead of being ourselves. In simplest terms acting happens when we aren't loving ourselves. When we act like we love others, it comes out of our own lack and an attempt to fill the deficiencies we feel within ourselves. Instead love should flow from love for oneself, and the perception of being loved by others also should flow from this. Without it, their love doesn't make sense and its effect can bounce off us. The explanation for a person's selfish behavior can get very complicated, especially when they feel that they must be selfless in order to care about others when it is actually the opposite. Its horrible and ironic that the false display of love and selfish arrogance is probably based on self hatred, creating a false sense of inadequacy.

I am sure that is not the whole picture, but that is what I think.
 
17th Angel said:
Taught by whom?
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Yes, love compassion seems normal to me.

Sure kids steal, push, shove, argue....but they compromise figure it out, and forgive in an instant.

Unless kids are taught that color of skin is an issue, they don't see it.

Hate, bigotry and such is provided by our parents or peers (who learned from their parents)

What we don't realize as a people...is that parents are having less and less influence over their children...when a kid is with his peers 10 hours a day, at school 6 hours a day, in front of the TV 4 hours a day...how much actual time is directly involved with parent child interaction per day??
 
Snoopy said:
Unfortunately you're right. When love goes bad it can turn to hate. One of the three poisons (with greed and ignorance) that keep us in samsara.

But never mind that religious sh1t. :p

s.
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i'd go further and say hate is a form of love.
 
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