Scarlet Pimpernel said:
Not going to argue with you on this one, Q...but I wasn't referring to how the children fare. I was responding directly to Zaakir's comment about why men could have more than one wife but women can't have more than one husband...i.e., then there would be problems with paternity and therefore inheritance. And that is something that the kids are not bothered by. Just ask my youngest niece - the only "father" she knows is her stepfather, and she couldn't care less that they're not blood relations. Matter of fact, neither could he.
(Although now that I think about it, I wonder if kids in cultures where a two-parent nuclear family is not the norm or ideal also feel the same "sense of loss".)
Children without a deliberate two parent (male/female) nuclear family is relatively new (pretty much world wide). Zaakir's comment on why men could have more than one wife covers only about 500,000,000 people (men), on earth. Clearly it isn't a majority concept (I know for fact that I can only barely handle one woman as a mate)...
Clearly there are males out in the world who still consider women less than equal, and I doubt that will change. However, I'd like to think the greater majority of males value women highly, Highly enough to commit themselves to the woman, and that woman alone.
Now if there is evidence that the majority of men have more than one wife (or mistress/concubine)...then I'll stand corrected.
I suspect that any spouse that has more than one spouse, has complicated issues far beyond the traditional one on one concept.
Zaakir has also pointed out that he has a different idea about what "equality" means between men and women. That doesn't make his thinking any more wrong than yours or mine...
You might consider his concept radical, yes? He might consider your concept as equally radical. And you both might consider my concept as, "quaint".
I do suppose a "rich woman" could conceivably have more than one husband, however it seems to be rare (not sure why). Perhaps due to social "norms"?
As far as children of families where two parents (male/female), are not the norm, nor ideal?...considering that it is natural, I fail to see any culture that children would not have a sense of loss, by not having one parent or the other in their lives.
If you are inferring that two men or two women can be the "parents"...true. However, those children will ultimately seek out a parent figure (gender wise), that is missing in their lives, whether the "Guardians" wish it or not. It is natural that they do. Instinctively, they understand the need for balance.
If the child is a girl, she needs a father figure (between age 8 and 14, then again at 17-19), to know how to relate to men. And if the child is a boy, he needs a mother figure (between the same age group), to know how to relate to women. Of course their needs for role models switch as they grow, however, they need both for balance.
I can't base my observations on scientific data (I haven't researched it enough). But I can base it on personal experience.
Moms teach daughters to be women, while Dad's teach daughters how to be ladies. Dads teach sons how to be men, while Moms teach sons how to be gentlemen. Why? we look for our mom or our dad in our relationship with significant others.
of course these are just my thoughts.
v/r
Q