Fictionalize Yourself

Had some excitement earlier this afternoon with the new a$$tard neighbor. He made the mistake of drawing a knife in front of several of my "clan". Guns, knives, a pulse vulcan, a Japanese bow and arrow, swords, a spear or two. . . I lost sight of exactly what weapons were drawn, but needless to say the neighbor pi$$ed his pants when he faced over 300 different weapons pointing directly at him.

He complained to the manager (how dare they pull weapons on him!?) and she gave him a piece of her mind (as did his caseworker who overheard the conversation.) The caseworker apologized profusely for the incident, nearly prostrating himself. Several of the guys told him that he's not responsible for his client's behavior. Anyway, the caseworker told his client to stay the heck out of our sight until further notice, especially since most of my guys are armed. He also berated the neighbor for using a bowie knife as a gardening tool.

Just thought you'd like an update.

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
I hope you're not talking about Bengal cats, because those can grow as big as Catfish. They're legal, but just barely.
 
There might be a few Bengals (there are so bloody many :kitty:s that nobody can keep track of breeds [we house purebreds, hybrids and "friendly parents" here].)

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
Had some "fun" yesterday. Alas, the majority of "the clan" are walking on eggshells right now. You see, I pulled a rather nasty prank on them ("I'm going to get you. You don't know when, you don't know where and you don't know how, but I'm going to get you. And you know what they say about payback. . .")

I guess I'll have to start at the top.

Several of "the clan" got into the spirit of April Fool's Day by pulling pranks, mostly benign. Anyway, several of them booby trapped the apartment while I was away and I got caught by a few. Anyhow, I yelled out the April Fool's mantra out of pure frustration. Now, everybody's afraid of me, including the usually "happy-go-lucky" guys and the usually stoic ones. Heck, I have a feeling they're going to have Orihime cook for them before eating anything I make for a while (they remember the batch of "interesting" brownies I made for someone who :mad:ed me [it had habanero peppers and a couple of different laxatives in it].) Due to the "brownies incident", I'm marked for life.

Ah, well. I'll just let it all die a natural death. Until next time. :D

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
"My clan" is asleep right now after some excitement earlier (why am I surrounded by idjit neighbors [an idiot does something stupid, an idjit does something that could be worthy of a Darwin Award].) The idjit pulled his Bowie knife on a couple of the girls who suggested that he ask someone for a hand trowel or a small rake to do the yard work he was wrecking. Anyway, he found himself surrounded by several people with guns, knives, a pulse cannon, shuriken, swords and spears and a couple of the magic users started casting (Nekoyashiki was getting rather serious there for a minute.)

When will that jerk of a neighbor lose his knife? I hope it's before it's planted in his flesh.

Anyway, we're doing Easter egg hunt duty tomorrow (mostly security, but a few of the girls are going to be bunnies, helping some of the "less lucky" hunters find an egg or two.) Al's going to do his shift after Mass, partnered with Ranmaru (mutual requests from both men.)

Shouko (who is partnered with Suoh [PtBs help us all!]) reminded me to make arrangements for the storage of Easter candy until Tuesday night and to get my Easter greetings out of the way before I go to bed lest I forget (and she would ask Nekoyashiki to set the cattery on my lazy a$$ets if I'm remiss.)

Ah, gotta go. The idjit neighbor's pounding on my door and Wren's powering up the pulse vulcan.

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
I don't think we're going to help one group of people we did today ever again. I mean, I can see the "bunny helpers" wearing bunny ears (especially if said "helpers" don't look like they can rearrange someone's anatomy to the point that the physiology is confused) but not Security (negate "helpers" description.) The staff people have a digital photo on the priest's computer of the Security detail (several of the guys probably gave the staff nightmares for weeks without even trying.)

Shouko had in incident that Suoh nipped in the bud (a few teenagers pinned her against a wall, and Suoh lost control [:eek: X(].) He already removed the bunny ears (protest) before he went berserk all over the kids' bodies. She had to show him that she was okay, just shaken. She gave him a reward of a kiss and a blood orange (looked like he wanted to fade into the bricks.) Anyway, the kids who cornered Shouko are seeing the DA tomorrow.

Kenpachi was impressed with the "one-sided" battle as well as Suoh's protest (he followed suit [protest] as did his third seat.) It was then we had the complaint about Security detail. I asked Takaba to take a group photo of the guys (he willingly obliged [I think he's going to hold that against Asami for a while.])

All the Easter stuff they got is secure over at my friends' apartment. They'll deliver the candy a little at a time after Passover's over (the same way we did it Halloween.) The toys for the kids are in the basement right now, safely in storage.

The :kitty:s have their own baskets, filled with small tins of wet food, catnip/crinkle toys and catnip bubbles. They're going to enjoy themselves immensely.

Oops, gotta go. Idjit neighbor.

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
Broke Passover with "the clan" (burgers, lo mein, lo fun, sushi, pizza, beer, regular sodas, etc.) The kids (and the "kids") enjoyed caramel cashew ice cream as well ( a few of the more "sophisticated" adults enjoyed red bean ice cream instead.)

It's quiet right now (thank the PtBs!) but I have a sneaking suspicion that won't last. You see, the neighbor with the knife picked a fight with Shigure, and she showed him that shuriken sometimes trumps regular knives (especially hers.) She's less inclined right now to go unarmed (for some reason she's never unarmed) and Apachai's decided he's going to escort her, too (he practices Muay Thai, sometimes getting a bit "excited" during his katas [or whatever they call their practices].) Idjit neighbor doesn't know when to "back down" from an argument he'll never win (lost one against Wren yesterday, and Wren didn't even power up his pulse cannon. Mieu had to stitch the idjit up.) :rolleyes:

Oops, spoke too soon. Idjit's picking a fight with the Kuba brothers. Guys! Breakfast's ready! Come and get it! Ayase's waiting for some company!

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
Had to make an appointment with a shoe store to get new shoes for everybody (too many to fit into one store at once, y'know [one shoe store + more than 500 customers at once = fire hazard].) I'm treating them to a trip to a toy store (for the kids/"kids") and I'll figure something out for the others if they behave appropriately.

I feel sorry for the newest group of "guests" (yeah, I've screamed myself into laryngitis.) They encountered a group of "the clan" chasing a couple of the neighbors (the idjit and a friend of his.) The guys who chased the pair chose not to use their weapons due to the possibility of hitting an innocent bystander (or a :kitty:.) Dunhill, who has started exploring outside the cattery, hid from the dozens of running humanoid feet (which infuriated Asami that much more.) Asami's trying to coax her to sleep with him tonight (he might be successful, too!)

Anyway, back to the newest members of "my clan": several university students (one a former "host"), a college professor, a cafe owner/proprietor, a "host"/assassin, the "leader" of the "host"/assassin's cell, another assassin and his daughter, another dog (a "friend" for Dog that belongs to the cafe owner/proprietor) and another pair of :kitty:s (who own the college professor and the former host.) I might ask the cafe owner to teach Orihime how to cook. I hope he's successful. :rolleyes:

Oops, gotta go before several assassins decide to go after the idjit neighbor. Or should I let them have fun as a welcoming present? *shiftyeyes*

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
Dunhill slept with Asami last night (he was ecstatic, to say the least.) The idjit neighbor's gotten a bit paranoid, too (says that he's heard voices threatening him with death (I told you he was paranoid!) Let me start from the top.

He (the neighbor) threatened a few of the :kitty:s and both dogs, claiming that they used the front lawn for their toilet. He refused to acknowledge that there are several dogs in the three buildings on just this side of the block and so many dog owners use this block to walk their dogs (besides the ones who live in these three buildings.) Anyway, he pulled his knife on both Dog and the new dog (as well as Dunhill, Milk, Bitter, "Princess", Softened Tiger, Dragon's Wing and a few other :kitty:s.) In spite of his bragging that he can tell the difference between a dog's spoor and a :kitty:'s, he forgot to take into consideration that dogs come in different sizes, not just big. Anyway, he was overheard threatening the animals by a few of the newest residents of my "clan" (the assassins.) They passed the "message" to Asami, FeiLong and Yoh (who got rather :mad:ed, as you can imagine.) I believe the assassins might take the protect "the clan"'s non-humanoid members contract, too.

When will he learn? :rolleyes:

Ah, well. Gotta go. Idjit's pounding on my door and three assassins are ready to "eliminate the problem" (if you know what I mean.) Or, should I just let them have fun?

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
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Got home from getting shoes (so bloody many pairs!) The representative from one company was about to leave when he saw our ancient hunters' feet and nearly had an orgasm (his company makes what they call "anti-shoes" [have no idea what the fook they mean by that, but that's neither here nor there].) Anyway, all of them got two pairs each and the sales rep took several digital photos of their feet both in and out of their products (sent them to his bosses, I guess.)

Takaba talked Asami into a pair of cross-trainers, but he had to get a pair of oxfords (Asami refused to even try them on unless Takaba got a pair of dress shoes [boys. :rolleyes:].)

After we finished at the shoe store, we went to a nearby grocer and went to town. Some of the stuff we picked up we threw together for a fish boil (Suoh was funny, trying out the second method for a Door County Fish Boil [the "pyro" method, i.e. a measure of kerosene gets thrown into the fire at the last minute, causing the pot to boil over, dowsing the fire].) Ending the outing with slices of cherry pie or scoops of sour cherry sorbet, we finally headed home, sated and a bit tired.

Ah, I'd better head to bed right now. Tomorrow's going to be busy.

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
There was an interesting practice session with some of the "musically inclined" delegation. You see, it seems that they're practicing for the Children's Miracle Network Radio Telethon here, and they were working on a classic rock ballad (Miracles by Jefferson Starship, extended version.) Ah, to be young and frisky in the spring. :rolleyes:

Tao is going to be taking a couple of college courses over the summer (just to see how he can tolerate the different expectations from his high school courses.) Relax, he has permission from those who need to be consulted. He wants to take a math class or two since he's bored to tears in the math classes he's in right now. Right now, he's doing some of the problems in a calculus textbook because he completed the entire textbook for the class he's actually in. My friend, America is helping him as is her friend, Lynn (Lynn explains everything in one of the Chinese dialects, which is very close to Tao's mother tongue.)

The Sailing Club's trying to recruit Al (and is trying his patience to no end. [:rolleyes:]) The Italian's usually unflappable, but I heard a long string of what I can assume was Italian profanity (some might not have been very complimentary to their mothers or their general heritage.) One of the more water-loving and adventurous :kitty:s has started joining the Italian in the shower. :)kitty:s. :rolleyes:)

Ah, a culinary question from Malcolm: what are s'mores? Seems he heard an advertisement for a new kit that a person can make s'mores and wanted to know what they were. Alas, several guys with an incurable sweet tooth heard what they were and want to have them tonight for dessert. Oh, for those who don't know, s'mores are a dessert sandwich made with graham crackers, chocolate and toasted marshmallows (the marshmallows are sandwiched between the chocolate, which are sandwiched between the graham crackers.) A rather messy proposition, but can be considered delicious by some.

Oops, gotta go. Suoh's got that gleam in his eye and Tiger Lily's unable to gain his attention.

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
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Had some fun at the expense of a few bullies while we were doing laundry. You see, I have a policy of "don't hit first, but make your first punch memorable." Anyway, a few bullies came in looking for a fight.

First one to get involved was Suoh. The guy who hit him was aiming for Shouko, who declined an "invitation" for a date ("How dare you say no to me!") The bully swung, hit Suoh. Suoh swung with his weaker hand, knocked the guy a few feet. Guy landed, unconscious.

Second involved was Kotarou Daigo. A bully hit him, he used the guy's head as a pendulum right into two of the folding tables (where one folds the clothes that are done.) He was out.

Third involved was Kurusu; his fight was the eeriest. All he did was he stopped a punch with a bare hand. His opponent fell through a plate glass window. Not pretty, that one.

After Kurusu's fight, I don't know what happened. All I know is that police got involved after a while (guy who fell through the window was DOS.) Anyway, we were given a warning not to start any trouble and see the DA tomorrow.

Ah, life at the laundromat. :rolleyes: Update tomorrow.

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
Sorry about the delay in the update, but I had to clear this update with a couple of court-appointed attorneys. [:rolleyes:]

Suoh and Daigo have to go to the same anger-management classes as Clare (the bullies struck them first, but they have to go to anger-management classes!) Tiger Lily's sleeping with the large blond (Takaba's got a few more blackmail-ready photos of that) and Daigo's sleeping in the cattery (he hasn't been "adopted" yet, but give it time.)

Shouko's ashamed that she's causing so much trouble but most of the "clan" has told her repeatedly that it's not her fault. Shigure's given her a few tee shirts that say "I'm 15-20 years in prison" (and several guys thoroughly approve of them.)

We have to find another laundromat because we've been banned due to the scuffle. Ah, well. I guess that's for the best since we've complained quite frequently about the maintenance person's laziness (once it caused a fire in a couple of dryers.) Well, the wanzers will help us bring the loads to the one a few blocks away. I'll just have to request a few rolls of quarters every week since the other place doesn't have a change machine. Oh well.

Oh, the snow spirits are getting ready to head for Antarctica, returning only for our fundraisers until the fall semester (they're cashews if you ask me. :rolleyes:) Our first major fundraiser is the Children's Miracle Network, but we're getting nonperishable food items for the Post Office/Hunger Task Force food drive (Yuki's little boy reminded everybody, especially since he's the "poster boy" for the donation side. ;)) Lists are already being discussed, ranging from cold cereal and dried beans to tuna and canned fruit. Our postman's been warned that he's going to have to request a semi to haul our donations.

Oops, gotta go. Idjit's picking a fight with the anger-management trio.

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
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Idjit neighbor's caseworker just left (he apologized again for his client's behavior, and we've set up a schedule so that he can avoid everyone and everyone can avoid him [easier that way than trying to get some rather angry humanoids to refrain from killing him].)

The "clan" is enjoying the first swimming party of the season in two separate pools due to the amount of people (several students had caught glimpses of rather fit humanoids in fundoshi or last year's swimwear.) There weren't any hidden cameras that needed to be taken out this time and the Fine Arts department personnel are rather happy about that. The "clan" are taking shifts, too since there are so many of us.

Takasu reminded me about something: farmers' market season approaches. Oh, boy. :eek: I guess the guy who asked us if we'd participate in a talent contest (which we politely declined) signaled the beginning. The guy asked why, and I explained that the "clan" has several professional performers which would be unfair to the participants who aren't. We'll help judge, but not compete. Ah, well.

Oops, gotta go. Looks like there are a few "outsiders" who are trying to crash our swimming party. :rolleyes:

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
We're back in our winter gear (the weather forecast calls for highs in the forties or fifty F. with possible flurries later.) The "clan" is miserable because of the weather and I'm having a hard time thinking of ways to entertain them.

Several members of the "clan" are learning about Mothers Day (it's this Sunday here in the US.) Several of the young ones are making presents for the female members (even those who aren't mothers. :D) One of the six that our hunters have custody of is making something for his "mother", even though he gave him something last year for Fathers Day, too.

Next week is the last week of official classes for the spring semester, although the weather doesn't feel at all like it. Asami's really happy about that (the former instructor for that one class is still :mad: at him for contradicting him and has tried to convince our successful "businessman"/yakuza boss that the professor's pet theory is correct was correct and Asami's experiences in the business world is all his imagination. :rolleyes:) Asami is making either some bread or homemade noodles right now he's that :mad:. Dunhill's looking at him in the "I'm a helpless kitten. Drown in my cuteness," look, trying to gain his attention, too. I wish her luck.

We've contacted the deejays for the radiothon at the end of the month to let them know what our schedule is for our fundraiser, both to let them know where Yuki'll be and to let them know they can have somebody come over and cover our shindig if they'd like.

Oops, gotta go. The assassins and the yakuza are on a manhunt for a few idjits who "need to be taught a lesson." Looks like the shinigami are joining the hunt, too. :rolleyes:

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
I had a little "conference" with several of the kids concerning tomorrow (Mothers Day here in the US.) The kids wanted some ideas for presents and they felt I would have something better than the "usual". When I told them what I did for my late mother, they quickly brightened.

Oh, what did I do? I got up before mom did, polished one of her silver trays, washed a good plate and the Bavarian demitasse coffee pot she had, then served her breakfast in bed. I don't expect the kids to make one of my "specialties"; cheese souffle. Someday, perhaps, but not yet.

The older kids will do the cooking, the younger ones will do the stuff that's not so difficult or delicate, then they're going to each present their "mothers" with the fruits of their efforts (some are mothers, some are actually fathers [since there are a few same-gender couples].)

There are going to be a few "extras" for the queens in the cattery, too (they're mothers, too!) Catnip toys, a little extra Liver Lunch, and some extra attention.

Oh, there's going to be a cookout in the evening, too, since the fathers want to participate in the festivities as well as the guys who aren't fathers yet. We're going to cook buffalo, poultry, fish and veggies (Suoh's recreating an authentic Door County fish boil, Method II [pyromaniac's method, using kerosene]. Yeah, he's a tad nuts, but a real nice guy.) Rustic cherry pie and sour cherry sorbet for dessert (no dairy, so they're "safe" for those who don't/won't/can't have dairy.) Hopefully we're not going to have any "crashers" like we've had a few times before, especially since we're not serving alcohol. Our "security team" already know who to keep out, and how to keep them out.

Oops, there's a bit of excitement outside and the shinigami are looking rather excited.

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
Both the breakfast in bed and the cookout were successes although we had some excitement with a "crasher" (Ryoutou caught him, then asked Suoh to set up another pot ["I just want something to eat."].) The "crasher" ran so fast. . . I guess Ryotou licking his lips in that particular way set the "crasher"'s feet on fire and his a$$ets was catching, too.

Ah, Ryoutou. He's an experience. That's all I can say about him. :rolleyes:

Oh, the food drive thing Saturday was a hit. Belinda and her little brother were both thieves (they stole the hearts of the postal worker and the press corps that came.) Yuki and his wife both signed the release forms for the photos after our resident attorneys checked to make sure everything was on the up-and-up. Belinda handed over a small stack of tinned tuna and her little brother handed over a box of cereal, both little ones' eyes looking at the postal worker in the "I hope this is okay, sir," manner. Future heartbreakers, I guarantee that.

Oh, and idjit neighbor caused some excitement during the photo shoot, but Kurusu removed one of his gloves (the neighbor fell down a flight of stairs to the basement; he's resting comfortably in a local hospital.) I've gotta find out more about Kurusu. . . .

Things are quiet now, :kitty:s dispersed among those who will sleep with a furred purrson while those who are nesting are curled up in their boxes, and Nekoyashiki's keeping an eye on the cattery. There's a :kitty: waiting for me, so I think I'll accept her invitation.

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine
 
Tell the shinigami that constellation Leo does not show its claws unless absolutely necessary.
 
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