Much like
Gardner's multiple intelligences, I think there may be multiple wisdom modes as well. Therefore, I would volunteer to stand up and call you wise.
You humble me, sir. Thank you.
I have heard allusion to this you linked to in the past, I wasn't aware of the formal study. It might make a good little reference thread unto itself.
The whole quitting smoking thing taught me much about how the brain works in relation to habitualization. My wife (saint that she is) works in the psych ward at a local hospital here, and tells me tales of people coming off opiates and other drugs, including alcohol.
Your wife gets a second vote from me for sainthood if she has the intestinal fortitude to work with psych patients.
Anyone who has any time away from their addiction can feel good about it, but as you say, being forgiving of relapse is a wise course. Indeed being forgiving of human behaviors at all is one of the foundations of wisdom.
My "quitting" has been an extremely long process, not always deliberate. There have been and still are ebbs and flows. Willpower is another word for masochistic tendencies, in my experience. Through it all I've come to realize that "my" strength is not actually mine...if you get my drift. That's why "I" can't take the credit.
Now, that may sound hokey to some, be that as it may. Whenever I made it a matter of "me," I failed...miserably. No matter the logic, no matter the planning and timing, no matter all the little games and tricks I played...I always goofed up...and then beat myself up for goofing up. And even when I used goofing up to rally the troops and try again...I still stumbled which made me beat myself up even more.
This time I tried a bit different tack, so far it seems to be working, and it has so far worked the longest. But I have deliberately removed the focus away from "self." It's not about "me" conquering anything...its simply time to set them aside. Maybe I'll pick one up some other day, maybe I'll even start smoking again. I hope not, but it is a possibility, and it is one I think I am a little better able to deal with now after having beaten my ego into a bloody pulp. This time I didn't tell anybody I was quitting, I didn't lay down any gauntlets, I didn't draw any lines in the sand...I don't even remember what day it was!
I know I have mentioned this before, but there exists a certain ghost like quality in any addiction. In ones "peripheral vision" so to speak, the cravings can be maddening, but seen straight on, they tend to dissipate like morning mist.
I like that. It reminds me of "get thee behind me, satan."